The Essence of Color
by raybabiieex3
Summary: I couldn't tear my eyes away from the canvas. His tattoos were beautiful. They told a story, and I longed to know the meaning behind each one of them. AU/AH/CP/OOC/language and lemons. Full summary inside.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer:** Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight. I just like to fuck with the characters.

**Full Summary: **Shortly after her father's untimely death, Bella finds her boyfriend in bed with her best friend. At the start of her senior year the new boy in town catches her eye. Will a relationship blossom or is she too heartbroken to trust again?

* * *

**Chapter One**

I pulled my old beat up Chevy into the Spoons Ink parking lot along side my friend, mentor, and boss's Jeep. I met Emmett Cullen the afternoon I got my first tattoo - a beautiful swan on the back of my neck. I loved Emmett's work so much I eventually started coming back for more tattoos. I got my second one exactly six months after I met him. Finally he offered me a job to work as the front counter girl, and I've been here ever since.

I tried not to think of what today was. But it couldn't be avoided. I knew them too well. They would ignore my wishes and get me a birthday present, even though for the past three and a half months I told them not to.

I pulled the keys from the ignition, opening the door, and stepping out into the frigid air. It was mid September and still autumn but even the summers in Forks, Washington were freezing. Just above fifty degrees. I had lived in Forks my whole life, so you'd think I'd be used to the horrid weather by now.

I'm not.

It wasn't so much that I hated my birthday, what I really hated was the unnecessary attention. The gifts, the loud cheers of "happy birthday" and the parties, I hated all of it. A birthday was just another day in the year to me, I didn't need nor want any special attention for it.

I reached into my bag pulling out a pack of Newport 100's. Sliding a cigarette from the box, I carefully placed the filter between my lips, brought the lighter to my face and lit it. I sighed deeply, taking a long first drag. I sighed as the gentle smoke filled my lungs, my thoughts drifting.

I shivered, but it wasn't from the cold. It was stupid really; to still love the both of them as if they never betrayed me. It was like they ripped my heart out of my chest and stomped on it, feeling no remorse. I chuckled darkly, taking another hit from the cigarette. I sounded like a depressed angsty teenager.

It was true though.

Finding your best friend in bed with your boyfriend could cause a little depression, losing the two most important people in your life just after losing your father could cause a little angst. I shook my head to clear it, taking a long drag from my cigarette. I needed to stop thinking about them, I needed to move on with my life; get out of the past. No wishing, crying, or complaining could change what they did to me. I had Emmett now. Along with Renesmee, Embry and my sister. At this point they were the only people I needed.

It was pathetic. After all of this time I still couldn't think either of their names, let alone see them. I missed my best friend, and I missed my boyfriend. Of course I would still be madly in love with him – my first everything. My first kiss. My first boyfriend. My first love. My _first. _It was only right to still have feelings for him.

Right?

I'm not stupid nor am I oblivious. He has no feelings for me, he hasn't for a while and probably never did. Which made me stupid for still loving him, despite what he did. I was making somewhat of an effort though. I'm trying to squash my feelings for him, I'm trying to stop myself from having butterflies at the thought of him. I try to ignore the way my heart soars when I pass by him in the halls, and I'm trying to not dwell on the fact that it was my best friend who destroyed us.

Sighing deeply, I took one last drag from the cigarette before tossing it to the side, watching it fall directly into the middle of a puddle. I opened the door to the shop, dreading what I had waiting for me inside.

I was attacked with loud cheers of "Happy birthday Bella!" when I pushed open the shop doors. Emmett picked me up and pulled me into a bone crushing hug.

"Emmett. Lungs. Require. Oxygen." I choked out, he laughed as he spun around in a circle.

"I can't believe it. My little girl is finally a grown up." I heard Embry fake sob from somewhere in the room.

Finally Emmett sat me down on my feet, and I sucked in a deep ragged breath. After catching my breath I glared at Embry.

"I'm hardly grown up." I sneered playfully.

"You're eighteen. So you are in fact a grown up." He replied, a smile in his voice. I shook my head and laughed. Embry was more than good looking, I couldn't deny it. He had long dark hair that sometimes got in the way of his eyes and an eyebrow piercing, vaguely resembling Vic Fuentes of Pierce The Veil. His eyes were a intense striking shade of blue, and his stark white teeth stuck out against his tan skin.

Emmett was also very good looking, he had colorful tattoo sleeves on both arms and a ring in his lip. His curly dark hair stuck out in a messy disarray on his head, his dimples showing whenever he smiled. He wasn't too tall but he still managed to tower over me. His bulky muscles always managed to stick out against the fabric of his tight fitting t-shirts.

Renesmee smiled cheekily at me, making her a lot more innocent that she actually is. Everything about her was gorgeous. Even her name. Her hair hung low below her bust line, the color a bright bleach blonde, almost white. The fact that she had no facial piercings made her look innocent. For some reason the black eyeliner around her eyes, and the oceanic blueness of them, gave an innocent vibe about her.

"Happy birthday, Bella baby!" she squealed, running up to me, and pulling me into a tight hug. I winced. She was extremely tiny, barley pushing 5 foot, and probably 120 pounds at the most but don't let that fool you. She was strong, she had a tight grip and a hard punch. I wasn't afraid to admit that she scared the hell out of me.

"You guys better not have gotten me _anything_!" I threatened.

"Oh shut up! It's your eighteenth birthday. Of course we got you something." Renesmee snapped at me. I rolled my eyes, and let out a quite huff. "Embry hand me her present!" she ordered. I held up my index finger, telling her with my eyes to wait.

"Let me take off my jacket, and shit first." I quickly stripped off my black pea coat, scarf, and beanie hat. Emmett took them from me, and sprinted over to the coat closet to hang them up.

I walked over to the front counter, Renesmee and Embry following right behind me. I took a seat at the stool and forced a smile.

"Okay, I'm ready." I mumbled. Embry laughed at my reluctance of receiving gifts. Embry handed Renesmee a tiny black shopping back. Renesmee smiled, and handed the little plastic bag to me. I smiled gratefully, before opening it. I gasped when I pulled out a Motionless In White band tee signed by no one other than Chris Motionless himself.

"Thanks, Ness! I love it!" I gushed as I held up the shirt. Renesmee skipped around the counter, and I pulled her into a hug.

"Mine next!" Emmett called from the coat room. He jogged up to the front of the shop and grinned at me. He pulled a tiny box from his pocket and handed it to me, a triumphant smile gracing his face.

I sat the shirt on top of the counter and took the box from Emmett. I quickly tore off the wrapping paper and gasped.

"The gauges I wanted!" I squealed. I jumped out of my seat and wrapped my arms around Emmett.

"You're welcome."

I grinned widely and sat the box on the table next to the shirt. Embry smiled and pulled me down the hall to his tattoo/piercing station.

"This is your present from me. Sit." I narrowed my eyes at him and sat down.

"Don't you want your eyebrow done?" He asked at he prepared his station. I smiled widely and nodded my head vigorously. "Hell yes!"

Embry chuckled. "You know the deal. Lean back and close your eyes."

I did as he asked and leaned back. I sighed deeply through my nose and closed my eyes.

"You'll feel a little pinch but that's all." He informed me. I hummed in response. "Okay. On three."

"THREE!" He shouted and pushed the needle through my right eyebrow. After a few seconds, he tapped my shoulder and told me that he was finished. Embry handed me the mirror, and I smiled at my reflection. My eyebrow was a bit swollen, but I knew it would go down in a few hours.

"Thanks Embry." I said sincerely. He nodded and smiled. "No problem, short stuff." I punched him on the shoulder for calling me 'short stuff'. I heard him laughing as I walked back to the front counter.

"Alright mom, I'll ask her. I love you too. Bye." Emmett said, and snapped his phone shut.

"Ask who, what?" I asked him, sitting back down on the stool.

"Mom wants you to sing tonight." He answered nervously. I grimaced. "Em…"

"Bells, please. She really wants you too!" He begged.

"You know I don't like singing in front of big crowds, and today's Saturday. The whole town is bound to be there." I argued.

I loved singing, and I loved playing my guitar, that wasn't the problem. Saturday's were Esme's busiest night. Emmett's mother - Esme owned a small coffee shop, everyone in town goes there to unwind in relax during the week, and on Saturday's most of the town migrates to her shop to watch the string of performances that Esme puts together for the evening. I've performed a few times, but I've never really liked doing it; big crowds intimidated me, I couldn't handle the anxiety of performing most of the time.

"Please Bells!" Emmett whined.

"I'll give you some new ink! For free!" He offered. I pondered that for a few moments. I really did want a new tattoo. I had just drawn up a design last night, that my sister Rosalie inspired, and I was planning on getting it soon to surprise her on her birthday.

"Fine."

"Thank you!" Emmett shouted, and hugged me tightly.

"What are you going to get?" Renesmee asked me. I answered her by pulling my sketch pad out of my bag, and handing it to her.

She whistled. "That's pretty."

I blushed lightly. "Thanks."

She handed the sketch pad over to Emmett. "Wow Bell. It's nice."

I mumbled a 'thank you', averting my eyes. I hated complements.

"Where do you want it?" He asked.

"My foot." I answered automatically. Emmett smirked. He was probably remembering the last tattoo I got. A pixie on my ankle. It hurt like a bitch. My sister wasn't kidding when she said that ankle tattoos are one of the most painful tats a person could get.

"Why do you always get tats in the worst places?" Renesmee asked me, with a smile in her voice. I shrugged my shoulders. "I dunno, I guess because I like pain."

"You masochistic freak." She laughed.

"My first appointment isn't until 11:00 so I have time to start your new ink now." Emmett told me. I smiled. "Kay."

"I'm going to go get a stencil ready. I'll call you back when I'm done."

I nodded slowly, and smiled.

"Are you going to need me to hold your hand again?" Renesmee asked.

"Probably."

"I don't think foot tattoos are _that _bad. The one on my chest, definitely hurt the worst."

I laughed. "I'm getting a chest tattoo next."

"You are such a little weirdo!" She laughed. I shrugged my shoulders. It's not like I didn't agree with her.

"Rose told me that foot, chest, and ankle tattoos were the worst for her." I said. "In that order."

Renesmee nodded slowly. "So you're getting all three done to see which ones are the worst for you."

I nodded in agreement. "Exactly."

"For me it was, chest, ankle, then foot." She commented.

"Bells, you can come on back now!" Emmett called from his office.

I grabbed Renesemee's hand, pulling her down the hallway to Emmett's station. Once we reached Em's station I took a seat in the chair, waiting for Emmett to show me the stencil. He grinned at me before placing the new stencil in my lap.

"I made a few adjustments. I hope you don't mind." He said, as I picked up the stencil. I nodded. "I probably won't mind. I never do."

Emmett didn't make too many changes to my drawing. The vine on the roses was a bit longer, and the roses were a lot more detailed and defined. Along with the skull. I absolutely adored this drawing. A skull was holding a rose stem with three bloomed rose buds in it's mouth. The first rose is going to be yellow. Yellow because yellow roses represent friendship and joy. Rosalie is my best friend, the one person I can trust through anything. The second rose is going to be orange. Orange to represent Rosalie's blazing energy, desire and enthusiasm. And lastly the third rose will be pink, for Rose's grace and elegance. To show my admiration for her.

"It's brilliant. I love it."

Emmett smiled at me. He took the stencil from my hand. I slid off my Toms and stretched my left leg out. He sat down and put some gloves on.

"Having Nessie hold your hand again." He chuckled as he cleaned my foot. I sat up, and reached forward, but he was to far away, so I couldn't smack the back of his head. But as if she could read my mind, Renesmee clocked him for me. He mumbled and 'ow', and rubbed the back of his head to sooth it.

"Okay, let's get this show on the road." He said quietly to himself. I smiled slightly when the needle touched my skin. The vibration coursing through my body. The pain shooting up through my leg, and spreading like wildfire through out the rest of my body. Renesmee was right when she called me a masochistic freak. I couldn't agree more. I loved the pain, and the feeling of the needle prickling against my skin. Getting inked was the only way I could have that deliciously painful momentarial relief from the bullshit in my life.

I winced when the needle went over a boney part in my foot. I snatched Renesemee's hand, and squeezed it tightly. Emmett chuckled.

"Fuck you." I mumbled laughing. Thirty minutes later Emmett finished the outline.

"What do ya think?" He asked and wiped away some pooling ink. I held my foot in the air as if I was trying on a new pair of shoes.

"It's fucking amazing!" I said, smiling widely.

"What colors do you want the roses to be?" He asked.

"Yellow, orange, and pink." I told him.

"You take a break while I get the color ready."

I nodded and turned to Renesmee. "How was it?" She asked.

"Not too bad. My ankle was definitely _way _worse."

I jumped when I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket. I pulled it out, sliding it open so I could access the full keyboard.

_One New Message: Rosalie_

I quickly opened the text and smiled.

_Yo, birthday girl. Just picked up your favorite! Jack Daniels! Just me and you tonight?_

_-R_

I quickly typed my reply.

_Em is making me sing at Esme's tonight. Maybe after?_

I got a reply almost instantly.

_Deff after. See you when you get off work. _

I typed a reply and shoved my phone back in my pocket.

"Who was that?" Renesmee asked.

"Rose, she got some Jack."

Renesmee grinned. "Don't get too drunk."

I shrugged. "You know that I can hold my liquor."

"Right" she laughed.

"Screw you."

"New years last year? Remember?" She laughed. "_I'm not drunk!" _She quoted me.

"I wasn't." I snapped at her.

"You were wasted off your ass."

"Whatever, no I wasn't."

"I've seen the video Bella. You were totally _gone._" Emmett commented, as he set up the color for the tattoo.

"You know what? Fuck you both."

Renesmee and Emmett laughed a bellowing laugh.

"Okay Bells, the color is ready." Emmett told me a slight chuckle in his voice. I flipped him the bird as I made my way over to the seat.

I plopped down in the seat and smiled widely when Emmett turned the needle on. I sighed deeply as the needle hit my skin, the pain vibrating through my body. After an hour Em eventually finished the tattoo. He applied some baby oil on my foot and briefly went over the aftercare.

The rest of the day passed by quicker than I wanted. I was dreading my performance tonight, but I wanted to make Esme happy. The free tattoo was also a plus, I couldn't say no to an opritunity to get new ink. Embry wanted me to perform one of my original songs, I didn't know how I felt about that. I wasn't big on sharing my music with people. However, much to Embry's pleasure, I was considering making an exception for tonight.


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: **SM owns Twilight, I just like to fuck with the characters.

**Chapter Two**

I sang along to the words of my favorite Miranda Lambert song as I got ready. It felt refreshing to tune into this side of myself. After my father died I sort of avoided anything that reminded me of him. Effectively changing my taste in music for months.

"God, how can you listen that that crap?" Rosalie groaned. I rolled my eyes and ignored her.

Without looking at her I pulled on a pair of tight fitting skinny jeans. "Can you please turn that shit off." She snapped and I glared at her.

"What?" Rosalie asked and sat up.

"Nothing, it's not important." I breathed.

"That's bull and we both know it."

I sighed and shrugged my shoulders. "It reminds me of dad, and you're just acting like an asshole about it."

"I knew how close you and dad were, I shouldn't have said that."

"Sometimes I don't even think you miss him at all." I whispered sadly.

"I never really knew him, Bells. You know that."

"Yeah I know."

"You coming to Esme's tonight?" I asked, trying to change the subject.

"I dunno."

"Emmett's gonna be there." I told her. She nodded and bit her lip, trying to keep the excitement off her face. It didn't work. Her blue eyes sparkled with happiness and love. I knew that Rose was madly in love with Emmett, she just won't admit it. And frankly neither will he. They're both head over heels for each other, and everyone can see it except for them. I wish she would dump her dickbag boyfriend, and be with Emmett, who actually deserved her affection.

"Do you know what you're gonna sing?" She asked.

"I think."

"I'm going to call Royce and see if he wants to come." She said, as she got up. I groaned. "I hate him so much."

"He's a nice guy. Just give him a chance."

"He's a pig!" I shouted.

"Whatever Bells. See you tonight." With that said, she walked out of my room, slamming the door behind her.

I pulled a white long sleeved shirt over my head, and added a grey wrap around scarf to complete the look. I pulled on my black my pea coat, I slipped on the Toms I was wearing earlier today, and made my way down stairs.

Rose was already out the door when I entered the living room. "I'm meeting Royce. See you at Esme's." She called over her shoulder. I opened my mouth to say something but the door slammed shut behind her before I had the chance.

I walked into the kitchen, and pulled a Red Bull out of the fridge. With my good foot I kicked the door shut. I grabbed the keys to my Chevy off the hook, and made my way outside.

I cursed under my breath, realizing that I forgot my guitar. I started the truck, hoping that it would be heated up by the time I got back. I dropped the Red Bull on the seat, and dashed back inside. I quickly sprinted up the steps and burst open my bed room door. I rushed over to the corner of my room, where my beautiful acoustic guitar was sitting on its stand. I placed her in the case, and rushed back down stairs.

I sprinted out of the house, and made sure to lock the front door behind me. I opened the drivers side of the truck, and slid the guitar over to the passengers side. I hopped in the truck, and put it in drive.

Keeping one hand on the wheel, I reached over, grabbing the Red Bull can. I popped it open with one hand, and took a large gulp. I reached into my the glove department of my truck, and pulled out my cigarettes. I quickly lit one, and threw the pack somewhere on the floor of my truck.

After ten minutes of driving I finally pulled the ancient red truck into the coffee shop's parking lot, that was conveniently located next to Spoons Ink. I quickly finished off the energy drink, and threw the now empty can onto the car floor.

Turning the ignition off, I stepped out of the cab, grabbing my guitar as I did so. I took a few hits from the cigarette before throwing the butt somewhere in the parking lot. I was actually quite nervous. I loved singing, and playing the guitar but I didn't do well in front of crowds. I didn't usually perform original pieces, on the rare chance that I performed at all I would always do a cover of a song. Somehow Embry managed to talk me into performing one of my songs, and I was scared.

I was met with a loud squeal when I stepped through the door of Esme's. I smiled genuinely, as Emmett's mother - Esme - pulled me into a bone crushing bear hug. For a woman of her size, she was strong.

"Bella, I've missed you so much!" Esme gushed. "Happy birthday. I can't believe that you're eighteen already. How time flies."

"Thank you, and I've missed you too!" I smiled into her neck. She slowly let go of me, and linked our arms together.

"How's Rosalie doing?" she asked, smiling warmly.

"She's fine. She's also coming tonight."

Esme squealed again. "That's great!"

"So where's Carlisle at?" I asked.

"He's still at the hospital. Hopefully he'll be here soon."

"Bella!" I squealed when I felt two strong arms wrap them selves around my waist.

"Hi Embry." I giggled.

"How'd you know it was me?" He mumbled.

"I'm good." I laughed as I turned around to face him. He narrowed his eyes at me. "Too good."

"The swelling on your eyebrow has gone down." He commented, as his fingers brushed my eyebrow lightly.

I nodded in agreement. "Are you going to sing your song?" He asked.

I nodded stiffly, a grimace on my face. He laughed, and patted me on the back. "You'll do great."

"Yeah, yeah." I muttered. I walked to the front of the shop, and placed my guitar on the stage next to the chair, and mic. I turned and headed for the counter.

Esme smiled at me from behind the counter. "What can I get for you?" She asked.

"My usual." I told her.

"One caramel macchiato, with an extra squirt of caramel, whipped cream, and chocolate syrup coming up."

I sipped on my drink as I waited for Rosalie to arrive. Huffing, I glanced at my watch. I sighed deeply. She was 20 minutes late. This wasn't like Rosalie at all, I had a strong uneasy feeling wash over me. _Something isn't right._ I thought with a grimace. As I was pulling my phone out to call her, Esme called me to the stage, signalling that it was time for me to preform. I stood up, glancing at the crowd and frowned. _Why the hell am I doing this? _


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter Three.**

Taking a deep breath, I slowly made my way onto the stage. A few people in the crowd hooped and hollered my name, giving me cheers of encouragement. I glanced at the crowd from the corner of my eye. I grimaced when I saw _them _sitting at the circular table in the middle of the room. As if sensing my gaze on, _he _looked up at me, a sad smile playing at the edges of his mouth. I rolled my eyes, resiting the urge to flip him the bird.

Sitting down, I adjusted the mic to my liking, and grabbed my gutair. I cleared my throat, and spoke into the mic. "I wrote this song a couple of years ago, I hope you guys enjoy it, this is All I Want." I said softly. With one last look at the crowd, I strummed my gutair making sure it was in tune.

Taking a deep breath, I opened my mouth to sing the first few words, strumming the first few fast paced chords.

_"I'm always screaming my lungs out, till my head starts spinning._  
_Playing my songs is the way I cope with life._  
_Won't keep my voice down, know the words I speak are the thoughts I think out loud."_

I leaned further into the microphone, getting slightly animated as I sang, my lips turned up into a small smile.

_"I like to keep things honest. I'm a safe bet like your life's staked on it, for real._  
_I'd hate to keep you all wondering, I'm a constant like the seasons._  
_I will never be forgotten, man._

_Let's leave no words unspoken and save regrets for the broken._  
_Will you even look back when you think of me?"_

I couldn't stop myself from grinning as I sang, my fingers vigorously strummed the strings of the guitar as I approached the chorus of the song.

_"All I want is a place to call my own, to mend the hearts of everyone who feels alone._  
_Whoaaaaa._  
_You know to keep your hopes up high and your head down low. Keep your hopes up high and your head down low._

_Still got something left to prove, it tends to keep things moving while everyone around me says my last days are looming overhead._  
_But what the hell do they think they know?_  
_My head's above the water while they drown in the undertow."_

The more I got into the song, the more I forgot about the people watching me. I poured every ounce of emotion I could muster up into my voice.

_"Let's leave no words unspoken, and save regrets for the broken._  
_Will you even look back when you think of me?_

_All I want is a place to call my own, to mend the hearts of everyone who feels alone._  
_Whoaaaa._  
_You know to keep your hopes up high and your head down low._  
_All I want is a place to call my own, to mend the hearts of everyone who feels alone._  
_Whoaaaaa._  
_You know to keep your hopes up high and your head down low.  
__And if you take it from me, live your life for yourself  
__cause when it's all said and done you don't need anyone else, come on."_

I grinned when I heard people clapping along to the beat of the song. I opened my eyes, looking out at the crowd, and for a few moments I didn't have a care in the world.

_"So let's get back to when everything seemed perfect. Not a worry in the world, tell me was it all worth it?_  
_I get what I want, so everyone's always judging me._  
_I'm not afraid of anything, I've got the whole world in front of me."_

_"All I want is a place to call my own,_ _to mend the hearts of everyone who feels alone._  
_Whoaaaaa._  
_You know to keep your hopes up high and your head down low._  
_All I want is a place to call my own,_ _to mend the hearts of everyone who feels alone._  
_Whoaaaaa._  
_You know to keep your hopes up high and your head down low.  
__Keep your head down low.  
__Keep your head down low.  
__Keep your hopes up high and your head down low."_

I sighed deeply, and smiled into the microphone. "Thank you." I said, blushing a deep crimson as the room applauded me. I rushed off the stage, holding my guitar by the neck. I placed my guitar back inside it's case, and returned to by seat at the bar. I took a large sip of my coffee, smiling as Emmett aproached me, his father following right behind him.

"Hello Bellla," Carlisle greeted me with a warm smile, I returned the smile pulling him into a tight hug.

"Hey Carlisle, how was work?" I asked, taking another sip from my drink.

"It was good today, not too busy" he smiled.

"You were great Bell," Emmett complimented me, which caused a deep blush to appear on my cheeks. "Thanks," I murmured sheepishly. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Renesmee sitting at a table in the corner next to her boyfriend, Jacob who had his arm drapped across her shoulders. I turned and smiled at both of them, Renesmee winked in response.

I turned and faced Emmett, "what happened to Embry?" I asked. Emmett let out a soft chuckle "he's over there somewhere, putting the moves on some chick." I laughed, not surprised. "Figures." I replied.

"Did Rose ever show up?" I asked suddenly.

"Nah, I don't think so. I haven't seen her." Emmett frowned. My eyebrows furrowed together in confusion, the uneasy feeling returning to the pit of my stomach. "That's werid," I commented.

I couldn't shake the feeling that something wasn't right, it wasn't like my sister to just bail on me. Especially for a performance at Esme's. I pulled my phone from my pocket and quickly dialled her number only to be sent to voicemail. I ended the call not bothering to leave a message, and turned to Emmett.

"I'm gonna head home, see if Rose is there." I told him.

"Alright Bells," he said ruffling the hair on the top of my head, "see ya tomorrow."

I hopped off the barstool, gathered my things and headed straight for the door. "See ya!" I called over my shoulder.

"Bella!" Esme called after me, I stopped mid step, turning around to face her. "You're leaving so soon?" she said sadly, a small frown playing at the edge of her lips.

"Yeah, I'm gonna go see what's up with Rose, she bailed on me." I explained. Esme nodded in understanding, pulling me into a tight embrace. "It was so good to see you sweetie, stop being a stranger!" she laughed. "I hope you had a great birthday."

"Thanks Esme, I'll see you soon, okay?" I smiled as I pulled away from her. "Give Carlisle my best!" I called over my shoulder. I rushed over to my truck, sliding my guitar over to the passenger side, and shut the door behind me. I rolled down my window, and lit a cigarette. I put the truck into gear speeding off as fast as the ancient beast would let me. The engine roared in protest, as I pushed pass 60. Something wasn't right about this, I could feel it at the pit of my stomach. I took a long drag from my cigarette, the smoke blowing out of my nose. I hung my arm out of the open window, allowing the smoke to blow outside. When I reached the drive way of my house, I took one last drag from the cigarette before tossing it out of the window.

I parked the truck behind my sister's red BMW, took the keys from the ignition and grabbed my guitar on the way out, rushing inside. My anxiety grew as I sprinted up the steps. I fumbled with the keys for a few moments before I managed to get them in the hole and unlock the door. "Rose?" I called out as I stepped inside, shutting the door behind me.

I wandered into the kitchen, sitting the keys and my guitar down on the table. "Rose?" I called, a little louder this time. I heard a small grown come from the living room, worried I dashed into the room.

"Oh my God! Rosalie!" I exclaimed.

I rushed over to my sister, who was curled up in a ball at the end of the couch, sobbing into a pillow. "What happened? Are you okay?" I breathed. She said nothing, and glanced up at me. My jaw dropped when I noticed her swollen eye, "what the hell happened Rose?" I asked, lightly running my fingers down the side of her face, her eye was red, poofy, and turning purple.

"Who did this to you?" I almost growled. She stared up at me, tears streaming down her face. "Royce," she whispered so softly that I almost didn't hear it.

**A/N: The song Bella performed in this chapter is All I Want by A Day To Remember. **


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: **SM owns Twilight

**Chapter Four**

"Royce!" I growled, pulling my cell phone from my pocket. "I'm calling the police." I said firmly. Before I could dial 911, Rosalie snatched the phone from my hand, her eyes frantic. "No! Don't!" she shouted on the edge of hysteria.

"Are you crazy?" I almost yelled. "Of course I'm calling the police. Now give me my phone back!"

She shook her head franticly from side to side. "Bells, please for me, don't. I'm begging you. I'm fine." she begged, straightening herself up on the couch, trying to convince me that she way "fine".

"I don't think I can do that." I told her honestly.

"Bella, please, I'm sincerely asking you to please don't."

Taking a deep breath, I glanced over at her. "Is this first time this has happened?" She opened her mouth, but no words came out. She closed her mouth and took a deep breath before trying to answer. Tears rolled down her cheeks, as she lightly brushed over her swollen eye. "No, this wasn't the first time."

"Give me my fucking phone!" I growled, and reached over to grab it from her but she lifted it up high in the air out of my reach.

"BELLA!" she shouted, trying to sound firm. I sighed "Rose, I care about you."

"I know, Bell. I know. But please." she begged. Raising my hands up in defeat, I reluctantly took a step back from the couch "fine. But under one condition."

She nodded firmly.

"If this happens again, you call somebody. Or I will. I don't give a shit what you say." I looked up at her. "You got that?"

"Thank you so much, Bella." She said elated. "Don't thank me." I frowned.

"Please don't tell anyone. It would be bad..." She trailed off.

I nodded once, before walking away. I stomped up the stairs to my bedroom. Flipping the light switch, I slammed the door shut behind me. With an aggravated sigh, I plopped down on my bed. I pinched the bridge of my nose between my thumb and pointer finger.

I didn't know what to think. I had nothing to say. Finally it all made sense! The nights Rosalie would attempt quietly "sneak" in, her muffled cries always giving her away, the bruises that would appear - as if out of nowhere - on her arms, and legs. I smacked my forehead with the heel of my hand.

_How could I have been so oblivious? _

I didn't understand my sister. Why would she let someone do this to her? She has always been so strong, and so intolerant of other people's bullshit. I contemplated going behind Rose's back, and calling the police. But I decided against it. I wouldn't betray her trust that way.

I loved Rosalie. She was all the family I had left.

We weren't close growing up. I was five years old when they left. I vaguely remember Renee and Charlie getting into a huge blow out that resulted in Renee snatching up Rosalie, leaving and not looking back. The last I heard from my mother was the card I got for my seventh birthday.

Growing up it didn't bother me in the slightest that she left. At least I had Charlie. We had an easy relationship. He trusted me, as I trusted him. He always supported me, and gave me a good laugh, or a shoulder to cry on. He protected me with his life. He was my life. And when he died, I felt as if the whole world - my whole world had crumbled beneath my feet.

I could remember the day he died as if it was yesterday. Years later, and the pain of it still creates a deep hole in my chest.

Only a few short months after Charlie's sudden death, I caught _them_ in the act. It was like the universe was doing everything in it's power to break me down. It was un-real. Sometimes, I feel as if it was all a horrid nightmare.

I wish it was.

At the tender age of twenty Rosalie left her home in Phoenix, Arizona to come be with me. Not too long after she arrived in Forks, she was appointed my legal guardian. I'm not sure if I would've survived without her.

I owed my sister so much.

I was pulled out of my thoughts by a soft knock at my door. "Come in." I mumbled. Rosalie slowly ventured into my room with a brown paper bag in her hand. I smirked.

"It is still your birthday." She laughed, as she crawled on to my bed. She handed me the bag, and I grinned as I pulled the bottle from the bag. I quickly un-screwed the cap and took a long gulp of the alcohol.

"Bella," she whispered. I glanced over at her. "I know you care about me. I'm truly thankful to have a sister like you. But _please _trust me, okay? I can handle this on my own."

I sighed. "Did you even think about looking at it from my perspective?" I asked calmly. I didn't give her a chance to answer. "You're my big sister. You're my only family. And if something were to happen to you, well that would be on my shoulders because I didn't do anything to stop this. I'm worried about your safety! I can't lose anyone else, Rose. _I'm just not that strong._"

She didn't say anything as she grabbed the bottle from me and took a large swig of her own, and she handed the bottle back to me. "You worry too much, everything will be fine."

I didn't bother commenting. I downed more of the brown liquid, rolling my eyes at Rose.

"Happy eighteenth birthday Bella! You are now legally aloud to look at porn!" she exclaimed, and I knew we would be okay.

-oooOooo-

I groaned when I woke up the next morning. I squinted my eyes as they adjusted to the blinding rays of the sun. I glanced at the clock, and my eyes widened. I sprang out of the bed, and instantly regretted it as the room spun violently around me.

I laughed quietly to myself when I noticed Rosalie curled up at the foot of my bed like a cat. I didn't bother with a shower; I didn't want to show up to work any later than I had to. I pulled my hair up into a pony tail and quickly pulled on the first pair of jeans that I saw. I grabbed a band tee from the floor and slid on my black North Face jacket.

I carefully slipped on a pair of socks. I grabbed my bag and slipped on a pair of old beat up converse. I went into the bathroom and quickly brushed my teeth. Making sure not to wake Rosalie I kissed her lightly on the cheek and grabbed my phone before rushing downstairs.

I pulled the keys from my bag and quickly jumped up into the icy cab of my truck. Without second thought, I pulled the door shut, and stuck the key into the ignition. The truck roared to life, and I backed out of the driveway.

Emmett, along with everybody else laughed at me as I sprinted into the shop. "Fuck all of you." I grumbled under my breath, as I took my seat behind the front desk.

"You're late Swan." Emmett snapped in mock seriousness.

"Put a sock in it Cullen." I shot back. He shook with laughter, and strode over to me. I eyed the cup of coffee in his hand hungrily. He smirked when I gratefully took the cup from him. He also handed me to small pills that I recognized as Advil.

"You are a God send Emmett." I told him as I popped the pills. The coffee burned as I traveled down my throat, but it didn't bother me.

"Esme says, and I quote," he began, "Isabella, you best remember that you are eighteen and _not _twenty-one." He said in a horrible impression of his mother's voice.

"Yeah, yeah," I mumbled dismissively.

"Loved your song," Embry commented from behind me.

"Thanks man," I said smiling, a slight blush appearing on my cheeks.

I fished around in my bag for the gauges Emmett had gotten me yesterday. I smiled triumphantly when I managed to find them in the messy contains of my purse. I reached for the mirror that was standing at the far end of the counter, and pulled it in front of me.

I ripped open the package and placed the two pieces of plastic on the counter. I removed the plugs that were already in my ear and slowly pushed the new ones through the hole. I winced as the plastic gauge stretched the tissue of my earlobes.

"Those are awesome." Renesmee commented, and I nodded in agreement. I put the mirror back where I had found it, and took a swig of my coffee.

"Hey Bells!" Emmett called from another room. I slid off the stool and walked over to Emmett's office. I poked my head inside, and he smiled cheekily at me.

"I have to talk to you." He said seriously. I eyed him wryly, and slowly sat down in one of the two black chairs in front of his desk.

"Is everything alright?" I asked urgently.

"Uh, I'm not sure," he answered, "which is why I have to talk with you."

I raised an eyebrow at him, and he took that as a sign to continue.

"Did you ever find out what happened to Rose last night?" he asked nervously, his voice thick with concern.

I groaned inwardly. My rational side was screaming at me to tell the truth, but I couldn't bring myself to betray Rosalie's trust. By keeping my promise to Rose, I was also betraying Emmett's trust. I wasn't sure if I was capable of lying to him, but I was going to have to.

"Oh yeah..." I trailed off, srambling to come up with a cover story for my sister. "Um... she was feeling a bit under the weather so she ended up staying in last night." I lied through my teeth.

"Is she alright?" he pressed, his eye brows drawing together in concern.

"Yeah Em, she's great." I told him, smiling a bit more than necessary. I was struggling to maintain composure.

He nodded once, and stood up. "Okay," he smiled, and patted my head as he walked out of the room. I groaned and buried my face in my hands. _I cannot believe that I just lied to Emmett. I seriously hope it was worth it._


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter Five.**

I walked out of Emmett's office with a frown. I couldn't believe that I lied to him. I kept telling myself that it was for Rosalie's sake, hoping that maybe I could justify it to myself, but it only made me feel worse. My gut was telling me to tell Emmett. The only thing stopping me was my stubborn sister.

I silently took my seat behind the front counter, and buried my face inside my hands. I sucked in a deep ragged breath, and squeezed my eyes shut. I massaged my face with the palm of my hands, letting out the breath I was holding.

I moved my hands away from my face, and rested my forehead on the edge of the counter. I flipped open my phone, and groaned. I had texted Rosalie twenty minutes ago, and she still hasn't replied. I quickly dialed her number, and held the phone up to my ear. I figured that I was probably overdoing it a bit, but I didn't care too much.

It rang five times, and went to voice mail. I groaned, I bit my lip anxiously. "Hey Bella!" Renesmee shouted. The sound of her voice made me jump. She laughed, and sauntered over to me.

"What's wrong?" She asked her voice laced with concern. I shook my head at her. "Nothing."

"Are you sure?" she pressed. I sighed deeply through my nose. "It's complicated," I told her.

Just as Renesmee opened her mouth to say something my phone rang loudly, and Carlisle's popped up. I wryly pressed the green button.

"Hello?" I breathed into the speaker.

"Bella, you need to come to the hospital immediately." He said, his voice was firm but still laced with concern.

"Why? What's wrong?" I asked. I had a feeling that I already knew the answer.

"It's Rosalie,-" I cut him off. "I'll be there in 10." I closed the phone, and tossed it into my bag.

I got up, and headed for the door. "Bella! What's wrong?" Renesmee called out. She grabbed my arm, and I turned to face her.

"Where are you going?" she demanded. "Tell Emmett I'll make up the hours." I told her, and pulled out of her grip. I rushed out of the shop and ran over to my truck. My hands shook as I put the key into the ignition. I could barely think, let alone drive.

I should have listened to my instincs, and called the police last night. I banged my head on the steering wheel, as angry tears rolled down my cheeks. How could I be so stupid? I shouldn't have listened to Rose. The tears blurred my vision, making it almost if not impossible to see the road.

I was pulling into the hospital's parking lot when I finally noticed that Emmett's jeep was pulling in right next to me. He glared at me, as he stepped out of the Jeep. The fury in his eyes sent a shiver from the back of my head all the way down my spine.

"You fucking lied to me!" He spat. I cringed at his tone. I had never seen Emmett this angry, and knowing I was at fault made me feel even worse.

I opened my mouth to speak, but no words came out.

"I cannot believe you!" He roared, and took a step towards me. I rushed into the building, as I fought the urge to curl up in a ball. I rushed over to the nurse's station.

"Can I help you?" The woman sneered, and removed a red lollipop from her mouth. She was short, overweight, and her dark roots were easy to spot, under her bleach blonde hair.

"What room is Rosalie Swan in?" I asked urgently. She placed the lollipop back in her mouth, and took her time looking up my sister's room. I groaned in frustration. She glared at me, but I ignored her. "Can you hurry please?" I asked as politely as I could.

"She's in room 26C." She spat. I nodded once, and took off. I rushed into the room, and a broken sob escaped my lips. I slowly walked over to her, stopping at the foot of the bed.

Her right eye was purple and almost swollen shut. She had sutures in her bottom lip, and just above her eyebrow. But that wasn't the worst of it. Her left leg was wrapped securely in a pasteurized cast. My jaw dropped, and I gasped. I dropped my bag on the ground, and I cautiously made my way over to her.

"Rose," I croaked. Hot wet tears spilled from my eyes. I grasped her hand lightly. When she tightened her hand around mine, a loud in human noise escaped me. I struggled to control my breathing, as sobs racked through me.

"I'm so sorry!" I managed to choke out between cries. "It's all... all m-my f-f-fault," I hiccupped. She pulled at my arm, silently telling me to get in bed with her. It was only then that I realized I was shaking, shaking hard, my entire frame vibrating until my teeth chattered, and the room around me seemed to wobble and blur in my eyes.

I crawled onto the bed, and curled into a tight ball at her right side. She wrapped her arm around me, and I carefully snuggled into her embrace. I heard a sound that didn't make sense, a strange, ripping noise. Distracted by the shaking, I couldn't tell where it was coming from.

"Shh, baby, shh," Rosalie whispered as she rubbed somewhat soothing circles on my back. "It's okay," she cooed. Then I understood. The noise was me. The ripping sound I was hearing was the sobs coming from my chest. That's what was shaking me.

"It's alright, I'm fine, I'll be okay," she chanted again and again.

"It could've been worse," I sobbed.

"I know," she whispered.

"You should've let me call someone last night."

"I know."

I rested my head against her shoulder, using the sleeve of my hoodie to wipe my eyes. I took a few deep breaths, trying to calm myself.

"Is everything alright in here?" A voice asked politely. It was a Carlisle, leaning on the frame of the door with a look that was both concerned, yet sill professional and detached at the same time.

"Yes, everything's fine." Rose answered politely.

"How are you feeling?" He asked coming closer to the bed.

"Um, I've been better." She laughed half-heartedly.

"Emmett's here to see you, if you want to see him." He informed her.

"I'd like that." She whispered I could hear the smile in her voice.

He nodded, smiled sadly at me, and then disappeared.

I waited until he was out of hearing range. "Does he know the truth about what happened?" I demanded my voice low and hoarse. I was finally getting control of myself, my breathing evening out.

"Yes, he knows everything." Rose told me.

"I'm guessing he called the police?"

"He said that they're out looking for him," she said.

"You mean he ran?"

She nodded once, watching my face for my reaction. I shuddered. "That's a bit scary." I whispered more to myself, than to her. "Are you okay with people knowing? What are we gonna do?"

She didn't answer, her expression twisted in response to something I had said.

As I stared at her battered, but still beautiful face, trying to understand the change, it suddenly struck me that I was here, in Rosalie's arms, lying in a hospital bed, and that she could've died.

"Oh, Rosalie," I cried, and I was sobbing again. I hated that I had this kind of reaction. A part of me wanted to be strong for Rosalie, and protect her. However, I couldn't help that this scared me more than anything. The tears were too thick for me to see her face.

I was vaguely aware of Emmett entering the room. I gripped her hospital gown in my fist, and cried harder into her shoulder when I felt his weight on the opposite side of the bed. All the crying was beginning to wear me out as I found myself slowly drifting in and out of sleep.

I struggled to stay awake, but I was almost too exhausted to try. Emmett whispering _"Rosie," _was the last thing I heard, before everything went black, and I fell into a dreamless sleep.


	6. Chapter 6

**SM OWNS TWILIGHT.**

**Chapter Six. **

Yawning, I stretched and rolled over. It took me a few moments to realize that the movement should have dumped me onto the floor. And that I was much too comfortable. With a groan, I slowly opened my eyes and rolled back over. _That's strange_. I was lying in my bed. I remembered falling asleep next to Rosalie in the hospital. I shuddered at the thought. I hoped that I was dreaming.

However, I knew deep down that it was _not _a dream. I sat up, and slowly slid out of the bed. Cautiously I made my way down the stairs. Suddenly I wondered - how did I get here? I sauntered into the living room, and stopped mid step when I noticed Emmett sitting at my couch with his head in his hands. He looked up, obviously hearing me enter the room. He discretely wiped away the tears pooling in his eyes.

"I'm sorry Emmett." I whispered. He sighed deeply, and flicked his lip ring with the tip of his tongue. He was silent for a few moments.

"I understand why you lied." He said finally, his voice calm. I nodded once, and shamefully stared down at the ground.

"It still doesn't excuse you for lying to me," he added. "But like I said before, I understand why you did it."

"I wanted to tell you," I said just above a whisper. I was afraid that if I spoke any louder, I would burst into tears. "Really, I did. I just couldn't bring myself to betray Rosalie." I explained, my voice breaking a little on the end. "I hope you'll forgive me." I bit my lip, as a few tears fell from my eyes. I tried to wipe them away before Emmett noticed them, but he did anyway.

He patted the empty space next to him, silently telling me to sit. I sat down, with my hands in my lap. I stared down at them as another tear streamed down my cheek. Emmett wrapped his arm securely around my shoulder, and pulled me closer.

"Stop that," he kindly demanded. "Of course I forgive you Bella."

I wiped away the tears with the back of my hand, and sighed deeply. "I really am sorry Emmett. I hope you know that."

"I know you are." He smiled. "But don't ever lie to me again, or I'll kick your ass." He threatened playfully, and pinched my side. I giggled softly and looked up at him. "I love her Bells," he whispered.

"I know you do Em, just take things slow with her."

He nodded in agreement. "I know,"

"Just be there for her, give her a shoulder to cry on. My sister is far from stupid, she'll come around eventually." I told him. He smiled genuinely, and kissed the top of my head.

"Rosie told me to watch over you until she gets home." He informed me. I frowned at that. "I'm not four years old." I grumbled under my breath.

"My dad says she'll be discharged in about two weeks. Three weeks tops." He added.

"I could kill him," I practically growled. He replied with a tight nod.

Emmett hated Royce just as much as I did, and he wanted revenge just as much as I did. I was thankful that God blessed Rosalie with a man as good as Emmett. I truly have not met anyone as kind hearted as this man. They deserved each other. I'm ashamed to say that I am a bit jealous.

I would like to believe that _he _was my soul mate. My "one and only". Considering I found him in bed with my quote unquote best friend, I couldn't help but reconsider. I was completely head over heels in love with him then, and much to my dismay I still am. I was beginning to think that I would spend the rest of my days alone, drowning in self-loathing over my lost love.

Someone once said that "it was better to have love and lost, then to have never loved at all." I don't exactly agree with that statement. If I could have just one wish, I would wish that I had never met _him. _The pain of having lost the love of my life was more than I could handle.

A few hours had passed by at a monotonous pace. I propped myself up on to the top of the kitchen counter, as Emmett raided my refrigerator.

"You don't have to go in tomorow if you don't want too." He said. I shook my head. "No, I want to go in." I heard him sigh. "You need the rest."

"No, I need the distraction." His eyes softened, and he nodded solemnly. "Can I at least give you a ride?"

I shrugged my shoulders, "Whatever, it'll save gas."

We stayed up for a few more hours, filling the time with light conversation. I managed to force myself up the stairs when I could barely keep my eyes open.

-oooOooo-

I was woken by the sound of my phone's alarm. I groaned, and rolled out of bed. I gathered my clothes, and quickly took a shower. Once I was finished, I plugged in my straightener, and quickly put my clothes on. After a few moments, the straightener was ready to use. Layer by layer I combed through my hair, making sure all my curls were string straight. After I made sure my hair was straight I pulled it back into a low pony tail, allowing the tail of hair to hang over my left shoulder. I wasn't a huge fan of wearing make up, so I didn't bother with it at all.

I turned the straightener off, and pulled open my bathroom mirror, reaching for my toothbrush. I brushed my teeth, examining my facial piercings in the mirror.I noticed that the swelling on my eyebrow piercing had gone down almost completely.

I finished up in the bathroom, and slipped on my shoes. Grabbing a purple sweat shirt and my purse, I made my way down stairs. Emmett smirked at me. "Took ya long enough, no wonder why you're always late." He said, as he rose from his seat on the couch.

I followed him outside, climbing into the passenger side of his Jeep. "I start school tomorow, so my hours are gonna have to change." I told him once he was strapped in. He nodded once, but didn't say anything.

After a few moments, Em broke the silence. "Are you going to see Rose today?"

"Most likely, are you?"

"No, I can't. I have to meet my cousin at the airport."

I raised an eyebrow. "What?"

"He called last night, and he's coming up here to live with me." He answered. I nodded slowly. "So you're not gonna be staying with me?" I asked, with a smile.

"Don't look so happy," he grumbled. I chuckled. "But, to answer your question, no I'm not. You better not tell Rosalie!"

"I won't." I giggled. He narrowed his eyes at me, and I smiled innocently. He pulled into the _Spoons Ink _parking lot, and turned towards me.

"Get out of my car, and get to work." I chuckled, flipping him the bird as I hopped out of the Jeep. I walked into the shop, and Renesmee smiled widely at me, and pulled me into a hug.

"How's Rose?" She asked.

"She's still breathing." I answered she smiled sadly at me. I tucked my purse under the counter, and sat down. The morning went by quicker than I expected. Renesmee and I were talking, when Emmett's 10:30 AM appointment arrived.

"I'm here to see Emmett Cullen." A husky voice said. The sound made my heart sink. I could recognize _his _voice anywhere. I clenched my fist, and slowly raised my eyes to look at _him._ He cast a sad glance at me, and opened his mouth to speak, but I cut him off.

"Get the fuck out Jasper Whitlock." I growled.

**Untill my next update,**

**raybabiieex3**


	7. Chapter 7

**SM OWNS TWILIGHT**

**Chapter Seven.**

_"Get the fuck out Jasper Whitlock." I growled. _

My heart shattered the second his name escaped my lips. His blue eyes were filled with sadness and longing. It made me sick. Jasper leaned casually against the edge of counter. His scent invaded my senses it made me gag. He was wearing a white and black plaid button down shirt. The sleeves were rolled up to his elbows exposing his gorgeous, tan forearms. His hair was a blonde disheveled mess; I wanted to run my fingers through it.

"Bella, how many times do I have to say 'I'm sorry'?" Jasper asked. I bit my lip at the sound of his voice. It was deep, husky, and had a slight twang of a southern accent. It made my insides melt.

"I dunno, Jasper how many times?" I spat. He opened his mouth to speak, but I wasn't finished. "You cheated on me my best friend and you're seriously expecting me to forgive the both of you like it never happened?" I almost shouted. "Are you really that dense?" I griped the edge of the counter so tightly that my knuckles were white.

"I'm never going to forgive either of you." I could feel the tears building up, and I did my best to stop them from falling.

Before he could respond, I jumped down off the stool, stormed my way into Emmett's office. I shut the door with more force than necessary, and locked it. My breaths were coming in shallow, and heavy. I leaned back against the door, and slowly slid down to the floor. I hugged my knees to my chest as sobs racked through me. I didn't care enough to stop them.

I missed both of them. I missed all the late nights, the sleepovers, and the shopping trips. I missed his hugs, I craved his kisses, and I needed his love.

I heard someone knocking on the door, but I ignored them.

"I'm going to get this door open one way or another." Renesmee called from the hallway. "Emmett gave me his key; I'm only knocking to be nice." She continued. I reached up and un-locked the door. Pushing my self off the door, I slid over to the wall, and resumed my position. I closed my eyes, leaning my forehead against my knees.

I heard Renesmee open the door and then it before taking a seat next to me on the floor. "I want to ask if you're okay, but I feel like that'd be a stupid question."

"Yeah, it would be." I replied.

"Do you wanna talk about it?" Renesmee asked.

"There's not much to talk about, Ness."

She scoffed. "Of course there is."

"He cheated on me Ness. He cheated on me with my best friend. What is there to talk about?"

"I'm sorry." Renesmee cooed, and placed her hand on my shoulder.

"Don't be." I sighed, wiping away my tears.

"How are you feeling?" She asked. I shrugged my shoulders. "Fine, I guess. I don't think I can go back out there." I admitted. She nodded in agreement, and pulled me into her arms. I rested my head on her shoulder. "It'll be okay. You'll see." She tired to condole me. I shook my head. "I seriously doubt it."

"You'll find someone new." She grinned. I chuckled darkly. "Yeah, right."

"Oh, believe me. You will."

"Don't sound so sure.'You never forget your first love'." I quoted. Renesmee laughed. "Oh god, Bella. Shut up."

"You mean to tell me that you'd go out and find someone new if Jacob cheated on you?" I retorted. After a few moments she replied, "I'd move on eventually, but that's not my point."

"What is you're point then?"

"You're only eighteen! You have a full life ahead of you to meet other people. That guy isn't the most important thing out there. Even if it feels like it at this moment."

"When did you become all knowing and wise?"

"I've always been!" she defended herself.

"Right," I laughed.

The rest of the day went by without any more confrontations. Emmett and Embry have been up my ass asking about what was going on. They gossip like old women, it's ridiculous. After my shift, Renesmee drove me to the hospital to see Rose. We walked hand in hand up to my sister's room. I poked my head inside her door, and knocked.

"Rosalie?" I called. She beamed up at me. "Bella!" I laughed at her excitement.

"You brought Nessie too! That's _so _great!" She exclaimed, as we made our way over to the end of her bed. Renesmee and I took a seat across from each other at the end of the bed.

"You have no idea how great it is to see people. It's driving me crazy being stuck in this bed all day." she sighed.

"Emmett told you he's not coming tonight, right?" I wondered. She nodded. "Yeah, something about his cousin..."

"Do you know who he is?" Renesmee asked, turning towards Rosalie and I.

I shook my head "no, Emmett's never talked about him before."

"I wonder if this mystery cousin of his is as attractive as he is..." she mused out loud. Rosalie scoffed "don't you have that mutt to worry about?"

"Jacob is great, mind you." Renesmee shot back, defending her boyfriend.

"Anyone related to the Cullens is bound to look like a God," I said bluntly. Renesmee and Rosalie stared at me for a few moments before erupting into a fit of uncontrollable giggles. "You're right," they said in unison. When they finally managed to calm themselves down, I sighed deeply and turned to Rose.

"You'll never guess who came into the shop today." I said, and she hummed in response. "Jasper," I sneered his name as if it were a disease.

"No!" she gasped, dropping her jaw in shock. "Was he getting a tattoo?"

I shrugged my shoulders "I have no idea, I didn't stick around long enough to find out."

"Did he say anything to you?" she pressed.

"Just his usual "I'm sorry" routine," I mumbled.

"Honestly Bella, he's a complete ass wipe," Rose told me "I don't know what you see in him."

"You need to move on, it's been over a year." Renesmee commented. I rolled my eyes, and crossed my arms over my chest. I knew that Jasper was a complete ass wipe, I was very well aware of that fact. I didn't know what I saw in him either, frankly. Renesmee was right, I was very well aware of that fact as well, however it wasn't that easy; at least not for me anyway. It's been over a year, a normal person would have moved on by now, however much to my dismay, I am not normal, and I'm still hung up on Jasper. I doubted that I'd ever be able to move on.


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter Eight. **

I wished that I had time to visit Rosalie after school today. I had told Emmett I would work extra hours on the weekends because school was starting. Emmett being the softy that he is he told me I didn't have to, but I needed the money. I wasn't going to rely on Rosalie for everything. I'm eighteen now, so I figured I might as well act like it.

Sighing I pulled into the empty Forks High School parking lot, and shut off the ignition. In a way, I was excited for the beginning of a new school year. I was finally a senior and that much closer to graduating. On the other hand, I had to stand back and watch Alice and Jasper continue their lives as if they had never known me. I wasn't sure if I could handle that. I griped the steering wheel tightly with both hands, and bit my lip as I tried to hold back the tears of frustration.

Neither of them deserved my love, and I was well aware of that fact. I couldn't stop loving them. Regardless of what they did, they were still my best friends. They betrayed me when I needed them most, the pain and resentment from that has left me bitter, and cold. I still love them though. I could never truly hate them, and for that, I hate myself.

The tears fell from my closed eyelids before I could stop them. Roughly, I banged my forehead against the steering wheel. I wasn't sure what I was hoping to get from that. I didn't make me feel any better, and it didn't stop the tears. I hated crying, and it seems like I've been doing a lot of it lately. I reached over, and flipped on the radio hoping Chester Bennington's voice would console me.

At that time cars started pulling into the lot, I didn't pay them any mind. I was too busy drowning in my own misery. I longed for the numbness I had felt after Charlie died. I was tired of feeling like this - like my chest had been tore open and someone had come in and ripped my heart out. I'd rather feel numb. Numb was easier. Numb was _safe._

Finally I was able to control the tears. I sat up and took a deep shaky breath to calm myself. I reached into my bag, and pulled out a pack of cigarettes. I put one in my mouth, and lit it. I took a hit, and pinched the bridge of my nose between my forefinger and thumb. Pulling my phone from my pocket, I checked the time and groaned. It was time for me to leave the safe confines of my truck, and enter the splash zone. I had butterflies in my stomach, and they weren't the good kind. It felt as if my heart had dropped into my ass, and my pulse was racing.

I checked my face in the mirror, making sure nothing strange was oozing from my eyebrow piercing, or my monroe piercing. Tucking my hair behind my ears, I examined the gauges, and the other five ear holes. I turned the barbell in my industrial a few times, before fixing my hair and bending down to look at my new tattoo.

I was stalling, but I need to calm my heart rate before I went anywhere. Once I was sure, I looked almost perfect, I took the keys from the ignition, grabbed my bag, opened the door, and slid out of the cab. I took one last hit from my cigarette, and tossed the butt somewhere off to my right. Hesitantly I shut the door, and locked it. Without taking a step forward, I took in my surroundings.

The underclassmen rushed off the yellow school busses. It was easy to tell which ones were freshman, because they looked just as scared as I felt. The upperclassmen arrived in their cars, pulling into the lot, greeting each other with smiles. Most of them I recognized, they were classmates of mine. However, there was someone I didn't recognize. I watched him as he parked his Harley only a few spaces down from me, I stared in wonder as he removed his helmet, and ran his fingers through his dishevelled copper hair.

_Whoa. _tried to examine his features from where I was standing but I was finding it annoyingly difficult to do without my glasses on. I wondered who he was. I couldn't tear my eyes away from this beautiful stranger. I watched as he tucked his helmet under his arm and head for the building. Almost every female in the parking lot was watching him, and I didn't blame them.

I was shocked out of my thoughts by someone smacking the back of my head. I looked up to find Angela smiling at me. I smiled back at her, and pulled my cigarettes from my bag, lighting another one. _One quick smoke before the bell couldn't hurt. _I thought to myself. I heard Angela "tsk" from behind me, but I ignored her.

"Did you catch a glimpse of the new kid?" she asked. I nodded, taking a long drag from my cigarette. "Yeah, I did. He's quite the sight." I told her, smoke blowing out of my mouth as I spoke.

"I wonder who he is," she said under her breath. "Hell if I know," I commented back. We were silent for a few moments, I hit the cigarette again and blew the smoke out of my nose.

"How's Ben?" I asked her. She smiled her eyes, tucking a piece of her dark brown hair behind her ear. "We're wonderful."

"I'm happy for you."

I loved Angela, she was probably one of the sweetest girls I've ever met. She was quiet, and reserved like myself. I hadn't really spoken to her until Alice and I stopped being friends. I had a tendency to limit myself to only Jasper and Alice, which I regret now.

We both groaned when the bell rang, signaling that we were late for first period. I threw the unfinished cigarette across the lot and rushed to class with Angela. Silently we snuck into Mr. Varner's classroom. He glared at us as we took our seats, but didn't say anything, which was good. The period went by slower than I would've liked. I was more than relived when the bell rang. Ben was waiting outside of the classroom when the bell rang. Angela greeted him with a kiss on the cheek. Smiling I told her I'd see her in P.E.

With a smile on my face, I strutted down the hall, heading for my locker.

The smile dropped the minute I saw them. The way he looked at her, it was like she was the only person that existed for him. He never looked at me that way. I felt my heart break into a million tiny pieces as he looked over at me with a sad smile. I looked away and turned to my locker. With a sigh, I opened my locker, and buried my face inside it as a single tear rolled down my cheek.

I was instantly reminded as to why I did not want to be here. Without taking anything out, I slammed my locker shut, and quickly turned away before I broke down the middle of the hallway. I pulled my schedule from my bag, and groaned when I realized I had biology next. This was probably the worst class you could possibly have to take. I've already taken it twice, and failed the course each time. Skipping class has that effect I suppose. The only reason I was still taking it is because having that class is a graduation requirement, and I was not graduating a year late because of biology.

I walking into Banner's classroom with a frown. "It was nice of you to show up Ms. Swan." Mr. Banner greeted me was I walked in. "It's not too late for me to skip. Don't test me." I shot back. He chuckled. "You've been quite the entertainment these past two years." I forced a smile.

"Where's my seat?"

Glancing at the seating chart, he pointed to a desk that was all the way in the back. A small smile painted itself on my face when I noticed the new attractive student sitting next to my empty seat. "Your seat is all the way in the back, next to Mr. Mason." He informed me. I nodded sharply, and walked slowly to my seat.

I could feel his eyes on me as I removed my jacket. I glanced up at him through my eyelashes, and my breath caught in my throat.

The first thing I noticed about him was his beautiful green eyes. They were a deep emerald color, and sparkled with mischief. After a few moments, I moved on from his eyes, to examine the rest of him. He had a perfect pointy nose, and angular cheekbones. His hair was disheveled auburn mess that I longed to run my fingers through. He had his sleeves rolled up exposing his pale tattoo covered arms. My eyes bugged out of my head, and I sucked in a shaky breath.

_Holy shit. _I thought. I couldn't tear my eyes away from the canvas. His tattoos were beautiful. They told a story, and I longed to know the meaning behind each one of them. I clenched my fist to keep myself from reaching out and running my fingers over the pink hibiscus flowers that covered the inside of his forearm.

"See something you like?" He smirked. His voice was just as beautiful as the rest of him. It was smooth, masculine, and music to my ears.

I scoffed at his arrogance, and reluctantly pulled my eyes away from his arms.

"Not a chance," I replied, fiddling with my monroe piercing with the tip of my tongue.

"I'm Edward. Edward Mason." He introduced himself, holding his hand out to me. With a small smile, I took his hand in mine. "I'm Bella." I breathed. I ignored the surge of electricity that shot up my arm when my thumb came into contact with the blue sparrow on his wrist, brushing it off as Jasper induced nerves.

"It's nice to meet you Bella," he smiled a crooked smile.

"Like wise."

A heard of students rushed into the classroom seconds before the late bell rang. I was more than proud of myself for being on time today. The thought of getting up and leaving was tempting, but the need to actually pass this class kept me from moving. I kept stealing glances at Edward from the corner of my eye, every time I would look over at him he would already be looking at me, and unreadable expression on his face. I had a slight attraction to Edward, he was a God; how could I not be somewhat attracted to that?

It reminded me of the first time I had seen Jasper. I instantly felt a connection between the two of us, and I knew we would be great friends. He was a perfect gentleman. He had a great smile, beautiful blue eyes; his surfer boy blonde hair was ultimately my downfall. His slight southern accent was an added plus.

My stomach was attacked by swarms of butterflies whenever he was around, and I found myself smiling at the thought of him. I fell fast and hard for Jasper. He was my first love, and I doubt if I'll meet anyone who could have that effect on me ever again. Obviously, Jasper had no problem finding someone new, I only wished that it were that easy for me.

I frowned, blinking away the unshed tears. I hated that he still plagued my thoughts. I wish I could just dispose of him, like old shoes.

Jasper was old shoes, the old shoes that you've had for what seemed like forever. You know you should toss them in the trash but you have so many memories with those shoes you couldn't imagine your life without them in it. My eyes burned from the sting of the unshed tears. When the bell rang, I stood up quickly, gathered my things and almost ran from the room without looking back.

The rest of the day passed by quicker than I would've expected, and I was thankful. When the last bell rang, I darted from the building and headed for my truck. I smoked another cigarette on the drive to Spoons, after a few short minutes I pulled my Chevy into the Spoons Ink parking lot, and shut off the ignition. Grabbing my purse, I slid from the cab, tossed the cigarette butt to the side and headed inside.

"Woo! Bella's here!" Embry shouted, leaving his seat from behind the counter and pulled me into a tight hug.

"It's nice to see you too, Embry." I laughed. After a few moments, I managed to free myself from his arms. I turned to the coat closet, and quickly hung up my jacket. I pulled my hair into a high ponytail and made my way over to the front desk. I dropped my bag on the ground, and took a seat.

"How was school?" Embry asked with a wide grin.

I laughed. "It was fine." I replied wryly, and turned to Renesmee. "Is he alright?" she groaned. "We went to Esme's this morning for coffee, and he had like five espresso shots."

I burst out into a fit of giggles. Renesmee smacked me on the back of the head, which caused me to laugh harder. "So... he's... be-e-en like... this... all... day?" I managed to choke out between giggles.

Renesmee glared at me and I took that as a yes. I was more than thankful that I had school today. Embry without any caffeine was a handful, I couldn't even begin to imagine the shit Renesmee went through today with him on five espresso shots. After a few moments, I managed to control my laugher, and turned to Renesmee.

"You're a bitch." She groaned. I shrugged, I wasn't going to deny it. Renesmee chuckled. "How was school?" She asked, giving me a strange look and I knew she was referring to Jasper.

"It wasn't horrible." I told her honestly.

"Did you cry?"

"I almost did." She didn't say anything. We sat in silence for the rest of the afternoon; I fiddled around on the computer playing solitaire. I nodded my head to the music playing in the shop fighting the urge to break out with some air guitar.

"Where's Emmett?" I asked, breaking the silence.

"He's been with Rose all day." Renesmee replied. I nodded, but didn't say anything. I would rather be with my sister right now but I had told Emmett I would work extra hours, and I wasn't going to go back on my word. Eventually playing solitaire got boring, I reached into my bag and pulled out my sketchbook.

"I need a drink." Renesmee whined. I nodded in agreement. "You're not the only one."

"I'd say let's send Embry, but he's passed out." I laughed nodding to his sleeping form.

"I knew he'd crash eventually," Renesmee scowled. I sat my sketchbook on top of the counter, and reached into my bag, pulling out a pack of cigarettes and a lighter. I hopped of the stool, and headed outside. "Come with?" I turned to Renesmee. She nodded, and followed me outside.

As winter drew closer, the days became shorter. While I hated winter, the only thing I took solace in was the shorter days. I loved the night. Life seemed easier at night - at least to me anyway.

The air was crisp, and freezing. It burned my skin, but I welcomed the feeling. I breathed in the dry winter air, as I tried to clear my head. I could see visible puffs of air as I breathed. I pulled out a cigarette and lit it before handing the pack to Renesmee. Once she lit her cigarette she handed the pack back to me, and I slid it inside my back pocket.

I took a long drag from my cigarette, and stared up at the sky. I tried counting the stars in an attempt to get my mind off Jasper. "Ness, I don't know what to do," I said, taking another hit from the cigarette. "I wish I could just _move on._" I admitted.

"You'll find a way." she smiled. I chuckled darkly. "It's been so long that I doubt if I'll ever be able to."

"I know what you're thinking and you're not destined to be alone." I rolled my eyes, chuckling darkly.

"The course of true love isn't easy." she tried to sound serious and I laughed. "If you're going to quote Shakespeare at least quote him right. _'The course of true love never did run smooth'." _

"Sorry, I'm not a nerd like you." She giggled.

"Nessie, I just feel really stuck, and I hate it." she opened her mouth to say something but I wasn't finished. "I hate sitting in the background watching Jasper and Alice change, and move on with their lives, and I'm still the same. I'm in love with Jasper, and I miss Alice. Why can't it be easy for me like it was for them?"

"What makes you think it's been easy for them?"

"You do remember what they did to me, right?"

"Yes dear, that couldn't have been easy for them. They love you."

I scoffed. "If they loved me they wouldn't have done what they did." "I'm ready to move on..." I trailed off. I took a final hit from my cigarette, and tossed the butt out into the parking lot.

"Just stay strong baby. I think some things are gonna change around here." She smiled pulling me into a tight hug. Taking one last hit off her cigarette, she kissed me softy on the forehead. "Just wait and see. Things are gonna change."

**Untill my next update,**

**Raybabiieex3. **


	9. Chapter 9

**SM OWNS TWILIGHT**

**Chapter nine.**

I wanted to believe Renesmee, a small part of me almost did. After feeling like this for over a year, the thought of my feelings changing _now, _after all this time seemed outrageous. It w_as _outrageous. I breathed in the brisk, winter air as I walked back into the shop silently striding over to the front counter, taking my seat. I tried to keep my thoughts away from all things Jasper.

The rest of my shift went by quickly, for which I was thankful. After saying my goodbyes to Renesmee and Embry, I headed out to my truck.

Once I arrived home I parked my truck beside my sister's red BMW. Shutting off the ignition, I gathered my things, and hopped out of the cab. I entered the house with a sigh of relief. _Finally home at last. _I dropped my bag by the front door, and kicked off my shoes. Without second thought I pulled my hair into a messy bun and headed straight for the kitchen.

My stomach growled, and grumbled telling me that it needed food. I ignored it, I was hungry but I didn't feel like eating. I snatched the un-opened bottle of Jack Daniel's from the fridge, and sat down at the kitchen table not bothering to get a glass. I stared at the bottle for a few moments, before opening it and taking a huge gulp. I winced as the liquid ran down my throat, setting my insides on fire. When the alcohol finally hit my stomach I smiled, wallowing in the warm sensation.

I leaned forward, resting my forehead on the table top. I sighed deeply. I was aggravated, and depressed. I fought the urge to cry. I was just so damn frustrated and pissed off at life. I hated that Rosalie was going through all of this. More than that I hated that I couldn't go a second without thinking about Jasper. What we were, how we were, what we had. I missed Alice more than anything at the moment. Alice could always make me feel better on nights like these. I always had her for support. She was my best friend, the closest thing I had to a real sister at that point in my life. It was depressing to think about.

I longed for something but I wasn't sure what, inner peace, freedom from Jasper, my best friend? I had no idea. If I wasn't sure about anything in my life, there was one thing I was sure of: I was lacking something vital in my life, and until I figure things out I'll be like this forever; sad, angry, depressed, jaded the list goes on.

I reached into my pocket pulling out a box of Newport 100's. I quickly lit myself a cigarette. Rosalie would have my head if she knew that I was smoking in the house, but I couldn't bring myself to care.

I flicked some of the ashes of the cigarette into an ash tray, taking a small sip of Jack. Standing up, I grabbed the bottle and left the kitchen and making my way to my bedroom. I grabbed my guitar from it's stand, and took a seat in the middle of my queen sized bed. I sat the bottle on my bedside table, and put the cigarette out in the ash tray that I had sitting in my windowsill.

I strung a few random chords on the guitar, loving the feeling of the wood against my skin. I couldn't help the smile that spread itself on my face as the notes bounced off the walls of my bedroom. I reached under my pillow for my song book, opening it up to the song I have been working on.

_I breathe you in with smoke, in the backyard light.  
We used to laugh until we choked into the wasted nights.  
It was the best time of my life, but now I sleep alone.  
So darling don't, don't wake me up. Cause my thrill is gone.  
In the sunset turning red behind the smoke forever and alone._

I messed around with a few notes on guitar, quickly grabbing a pencil and scribbling them down in the notebook. I trapped the eraser against my face as I pondered what to write next. I strummed together some notes on the guitar, thinking about what lyrics would fit, I sang them out loud as I wrote the words down.

_"And you've gone and sewn me to this bed. The taste of you and me will never leave my lips again.  
__Under the blinding rain I wanna hold your hand so tight, I'm gonna break my wrist.  
__And when the vultures sing tonight I'm gonna join right in."_

I smiled to myself as the words flowed from my mind, painting themselves on the paper. I could hear the melody in my head, I knew exactly how I wanted the music to sound. I played a few chords, and wrote them down singing quietly to myself as I went along.

_"I'll sing along cause I don't know any other song. And I'll sing along but I'm barely hanging on.  
__No I'm barely hanging on, by the time you're hearing this I'll already be gone.  
__Now there's nothing to do but scream at the drunken moon."_

I strummed a few more chords, a lot of them repeating. I hummed the lyrics in my head, piecing them together with the notes of the guitar.

A loud knocking on my bedroom door startled me, causing me to jump. Emmett smiled, pushing his head in through the door. "I wondered what all that noise was." He laughed. "Are you writing something new?"

"Yeah, I am." I admitted sheepishly, not liking that Emmett had been listening in on my writing process.

"It sounds great, are you gonna preform it?" he asked as he entered the room, taking a seat on the edge of my bed.

"I don't know," I answered, shrugging my shoulders. "You should,"

I shrugged my shoulders again, tapping my fingers against the next of my guitar. "How's Rose?" I asked.

Emmett smiled sadly "she's alright, she misses you."

"I miss her too, a lot."

"How was school?" he asked.

"School was school, ya know?" I replied, and he laughed. "Yeah I know, I definitely don't miss it."

"I won't when I graduate."

"I'm not going to stay and watch you tonight, I think we both know you're more than capable." Emmett said. I chuckled, nodding my head in agreement. "I'm gonna get going now, don't wanna leave my cousin alone in my apartment for too long."

I laughed "alright Em, see you tomorrow."

"See ya Bells." He smiled, ruffling my hair as he got up and walked out of the room, I waited until I heard the front door open, and slam shut before I returned to working on my song.

**A/N: The song Bella was working on in this chapter is called Bulletproof Love by Pierce The Veil. **


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter ten **

_The warm breeze tickled my nose, and the smell of fresh pine invaded my senses. The bright shining sun burned my retinas as I started up at a cloudless blue sky. The temperature reached just above 60 degrees, a rarity for Forks. I reached forward, petting the soft mound of moss growing from under a rock, the spongy texture moistened my skin and I smiled. _

_A sudden rustling of leaves from behind me caught my attention. I snapped my head up, and greedily took in my surroundings, searching for any sign of attack. I froze as a blur of gold appeared in the corner of my eye, disappearing just as quickly as it appeared. The soft menacing giggle that erupted from somewhere in the forest caused my heart to sink, I anxiously darted my eyes from tree to tree in a feeble attempt to save myself. _

'_It's now or never__'__I thought, quickly I turned around only to be met with a pair of sparkling blue orbs staring straight back at me. I squealed as I tried to escape but I was too late. Before I even had the chance to make a run for it, I was trapped in the tight embrace of my sister's arms. "Tag, you're it." She smirked. _

_With a groan of defeat I disentangled myself from her arms. I huffed, crossing my arms tightly over my chest, sticking my nose up in the air in an act of defiance. Obviously laughing at my performance, Rosalie fell to the ground in a sudden fit of giggles, her tinkling bell like laugh echoed throughout the forest. Her long golden locks fanned over her face, as she shook with laughter. Her bright ocean blues sparkled with amusement. _

_"Stop laughin' at me Rosie!" I whined, brushing the pieces of stray hair from my vision. "I'm tired of you taggin' me, I wanna win!" _

_Rosalie opened her mouth to say something but the sound of something crashing and breaking in the distance stopped us both in our tracks. Hand in hand we rushed to the edge of the forest, stopping as our house came into view. Awe struck I stared forward my eyes transfixed on the scene in front of me. Mommy stormed out of the house with tears streaming down her face. I watched as daddy ran after her, catching her by her wrist he pulled her towards him spinning her around to face him._

_"RENE LOOK AT ME!" He demanded__,__ his voice loud and commanding__.__ I quivered in fear from my hiding spot behind the tree. I wondered why daddy was yelling, why was he being so mean? And why was mommy crying? I stepped away from the tree, trying to rush over to them but Rosalie stopped me._

_"Bells stay here," she whispered. _

_"Charlie, I'm sorry but I can't do this anymore. I can't take it. This stupid town, this stupid everything, I'm not happy. I haven't been happy in a long time." _

_"You're not taking them," he growled, a single tear fell from his eye. "You can't do this to me." _

_"I'm sorry Charlie, I really am." Mommy whispered. "Rosalie come here now," she said just above a whisper. Rosie pressed her lips lightly to my forehead. "Just stay here Bells, I'll be right back." _

"_No!" I shouted. "Rosie, don't leave me!" _

"_I'll be right back, Belly" she whispered before rushing over to our mother. I stood behind the tree, frozen in place as I watched my sister approach my mother's crying form._

"_We're leaving, Rosalie, come on. Let's go." Mommy roughly pulled Rosalie by her wrist, dragging her over to the car. Rosalie's face twisted into a mask of confusion, and fear._

"_Leaving?" Rosalie asked, her voice low. "Daddy and Bella are coming too, right?" _

_Mommy sighed, running her fingers through my sisters tousled blonde locks. "No honey, they're not. It's just us." _

_My eyes widened as I watched my mother force Rosalie into the back of her four door Sudan. "I'm sorry Charlie," she said as she circled around to the front of the car, hopping in the front seat. _

_As my mother pulled out of the drive, I ran over to car in a feeble attempt to stop her. "Mommy! Mommy!" I called out. "Where are you going?" _

_A pair of strong arms wrapped around my waist, pulling me into a tight embrace, stopping me from going any further. I turned my head, frowning at my father's tear stained face. _

"_Where are they going?" I asked, my voice just above a whisper. _

"_I don't know," he replied, his voice quiet. _

"_When are they coming back?" I asked, wiping away the tears that fell from my father's closed eyes. He pulled me tighter against my chest, and was quiet for a few moments. _

"_I don't know," he whispered. _

Clutching the blanket tightly against my chest I jolted up off the bed.

My heart beat franticly, pounding in my ears. My head was spinning, and I felt as if I were going to be sick. I sat up and leaned back against the head of my bed. I ran my fingers through my hair, hanging my head in my hands.

In that moment, I felt alone. I missed Charlie, and some small part of me missed Renee as well. I reached over and picked up the pack of cigarettes sitting on my bedside table. Gingerly, I opened the pack, slowly taking a cigarette from the box and placed the filter in between my lips.

I reached for my lighter, and carefully lit the cigarette. I took a long drag, inhaling deeply, allowing the gentle smoke to fill my lungs and calm my senses.

I didn't think about Renee much. After she left, I quickly adjusted to her absence; I had missed my sister's presence in my life more than I had ever missed hers. We weren't close – Renee and I – even before she left she didn't hold a monumental part in my life. When she left, I didn't hate her for leaving, I hated her for taking my sister with her.

Renee was never much of a mother to me; it was obvious who the favored daughter was. I didn't hold it against Rosalie though, I had Charlie and it wasn't her fault that our mother was a bitch.

I took another long drag from my cigarette, lost in my thoughts. I didn't feel up for school today. I contemplated skipping; it seemed like a good idea in theory. I pulled at the back of my lip ring with the tip of my tongue, and scratched my head.

"Ah, fuck it." I breathed, sinking down further into the duvets and sheets. I hit my cigarette, taking a long last hit, reached over and put it out in my ashtray. With a groan I rolled over, and swung my legs off the edge of the bed. I glanced at the clock, and it read 9:45 AM. I was already late for school, having missed first period, and a good bit of second. I decided that there wasn't much of a point in going today.

I bent down, picking up a pair of light grey baggy sweat pants, and a purple jacket. I slipped on the clothes, and pulled my hair into a high ponytail. I made sure to grab my cigarettes, and lighter from the bedside table before slowly making my way downstairs.

I entered the kitchen, heading straight for the coffee maker. I quickly made a fresh pot of coffee, and poured myself a cup. I brought the cup to my face, holding it under my nose, I inhaled the scent of the steaming hot black liquid. I took a large gulp, wincing as the black liquid burned the back of my throat.

With coffee in hand, I made my way to the kitchen table and sat down. I smiled slightly to myself, remembering the way Charlie would sit across from me, drinking a cup of coffee of his own, quietly reading the paper. The thought of Charlie made my heart wrench, I hoped that from wherever he was he could see how much I missed him.

I took another sip of coffee, and sighed. After a few moments, I got up from the table, and grabbed my keys from the hook. I slipped on a pair of shoes, and hastily walked out the house, locking the front door behind me. I opened the door of my truck, hopping into the chilly cab. I placed the keys in the ignition, when the Chevy roared to life I peeled out of the driveway.

I drove in silence, not bothering with the radio. I made a quick stop at a small flower shop, and picked up a single white carnation flower. After a twenty minute drive, I brought my truck to a stop in front of Forks Cemetery. Shutting off the ignition, I opened the door with flower in hand, and stepped out of the cab. I sighed deeply through my nose, taking in the sight of all the tombstones in the cemetery. Without hesitation, I stepped through the main gate, and quickly made my way over to Charlie's grave. I sat down in the grass in front of his grave, and placed the white carnation directly in front of his tombstone.

"Hey Dad," I said, my mouth turned up into a small sad smile.

"I miss you," I whispered, reaching out to touch the smooth granite of his tombstone. "Sorry that I haven't been to visit in a few days," I told him.

"I performed at Esme's the other night, it was one of my songs, I was pretty scared," I chuckled. "Embry talked me into it."

"Something bad happened to Rosalie," I whispered. "She's in the hospital, don't worry though, Carlisle is taking good care of her."

"Royce… he uh, beat her up." I told him. "I knew about it before hand," I confessed. "When I came home from Esme's the other night, I found her crying in the living room, she was a real mess." I took a deep breath through my nose, trying to ease my nerves.

"I wanted to call the police, but I let her talk me out of it," I admitted. "I should have followed my instincts.

"I never liked Royce. I knew he was no good from the start. You wouldn't have liked him either, he was a real dick." I frowned.

"Other than Rosalie, everything's been fine. I started school yesterday," I paused for a moment. "I know what you're thinking, I should be in school now but I really wasn't up for going."

"I won't fail Biology again though; I don't want to graduate late." I reassured him. "It's not the same without you," I said quietly, just above a whisper. "I wish you were still here." I wiped away the tear that fell from my eye.

I whipped around when I heard soft footsteps approaching me from behind. My jaw dropped, and my eyes narrowed when I noticed the small pixie girl with short, spiky black hair stop behind me.

"Bella…" she breathed, just above a whisper.

**A/N: Hello everyone! I know this isn't very long, I'm sorry for that. I'll start working on chapter eleven soon, and I'll probably post it in the next few days. Thank you for reading, I love all of you.**

**XOXOXOXO  
until my next update,  
-raybabiieex3**


	11. Chapter 11

**SM OWNS TWILIGHT**

**Chapter Eleven **

"Why are you here?" I asked in a flat emotionless voice.

"I come here to think sometimes," she replied, slowly sitting down next to me.

"You should be at school," I commented staring at the ground. She laughed lightly, "I could say the same for you."

"I heard about what happened to Rosalie," she told me in a sad voice. "Is she alright?"

"You shouldn't be here," I said, finally looking up at her. She frowned, bringing her soft hazel eyes up to meet mine.

"Charlie was like a father to me, you know that." She said quietly, I stayed silent. We sat in an awkward silence for a few moments before she spoke again.

"I have a right to be here."

"You lost that right when you slept with my boyfriend." I spat at her. She winced at my words, looking down at the ground.

"Bella, I-" I cut her off mid-sentence. "Save it Alice." I snapped, and turned away from her. Alice reached out, placing her small hand softly on my back. I shrugged her hand away, turning to glare at her over my shoulder.

"Leave me alone," I growled.

"I miss you," she said, I could hear the hurt in her voice but I couldn't bring myself to care. "You're my best friend."

"I'm not your friend," I retorted with an icy undertone in my voice. I stood, and took a few steps away from her, prepared to walk away. Alice stood then too, and reached out for me again. She wrapped her fingers tightly around my hand, and squeezed.

"I want to be friends," she said, her voice pleading. I ripped my hand out of her grip, and frowned.

"That's never going to happen," I shot at her, and walked away. I heard her soft footsteps as she ran after me. She stopped right in front me, and pulled me into a tight embrace.

"Please Bella," she whimpered. Her eyes swam with sadness, as she pleaded with me and for the briefest moment my heart broke for her.

I broke out of her arms, and pushed her away from me. I glanced down at her, her lip was quivering slightly, and she had tears in her eyes.

"It's your own fault," I said quietly.

"I know, I know." She cried, tears falling from her eyes. "And I'm _so _sorry."

"An apology isn't going to fix this," I stated firmly. "This isn't something you can apologize your way out of."

"But, Bella… please!" She sobbed, reaching out for me again. Glaring, I stepped away from her.

"Good bye, Alice." I whispered as I walked away. I headed straight for my truck, and frowned when I noticed Alice's canary yellow Porsche parked right next to it. Without looking back, I ripped open the door to my truck, and hopped into the cab. I shoved the keys into the ignition with a bit more force than necessary, and backed out of the cemetery when the ancient beast came to life.

I sped down the highway, the truck groaned as I pushed pass 50 miles per hour. I gripped the steering wheel tightly with both hands. A small part of me wanted to welcome Alice back into my life with open arms, I missed her. I couldn't bring myself to forgive her; she committed the ultimate crime – the biggest violation of girl code – by sleeping with Jasper. Even if I allowed her to be part of my life again, I doubted that I'd ever be able to trust her after what she did.

With one hand still on the wheel, I reached into my pocket and pulled out my cigarettes. I quickly pulled one from the box, placed it between my lips, and lit it. I tossed the pack of cigarettes on the other side of the cab, and rolled down my window, allowing the smoke to blow out of the truck.

I took a drag from my cigarette, exhaling the smoke from my mouth and nose. I reached over and switched on the radio. I fumbled with the buttons, skipping from track to track until I found a song I felt like listening to. I flicked the ashes of my cigarette out of the window, and leaned my head against the back of my seat as I drove, relaxing to the sound of Disturbed blasting through my speakers.

I turned the radio's volume up ridiculously high and applied more pressure to the gas petal. Over the music I heard the engine groan in protest as I approached 60 miles per hour, but I ignored it. I took another drag from my cigarette, and smiled as I felt myself unwinding.

I grinned while singing along to the lyrics, nodding my head, and tapping my fingers to the beat of the song. I took a final hit from my cigarette and tossed the butt out the window. I left the window down as I drove, allowing the wind to blow against my face.

My ancient truck moaned and groaned, as I continued to push its limits by speeding. Even though I had just smoked one, I reached over and pulled another cigarette from the pack. I popped it in my mouth, and lit it. I was still reeling from my encounter with Alice, and I decided to blow off steam by speeding and chain smoking.

I couldn't stop thinking about her; it angered me that she came to my father's grave. I didn't think she had the right to. I wanted to erase her from my life completely, and it was proving to be impossible. Everywhere I turned she was there; I couldn't escape her or Jasper. If I wasn't thinking about them, and their betrayal, they were right in front of me, flaunting it.

As time passed, I gradually started feeling less hurt by their scandal, anger replacing the pain. I was beginning to reach a certain level of pissed the fuck off. With every thought I had of them, and the pang of hurt I felt when I thought of them – which was often – I felt the urge to throw punches at Alice. As my best friend, I couldn't believe that she had the nerve to do something that monumental to me.

I remembered the morning I caught them vividly, I didn't think I'd ever forget the details of the day that changed my life forever.

_I sat quietly in the cab of my truck, listening to the soft tapping of the rain against the window. I wasn't sure how long I sat there staring out of the window, not really seeing anything. I closed my eyes hoping that the soothing sound of the rain would console me. I gripped the steering wheel tightly with both hands, willing the tears building up behind my closed lids, not to fall. _

_Six months had gone by, and it still didn't feel real, none of it did; sitting here in my truck, parked outside of Forks Cemetery visiting my father, it felt like a dream; a horrid dream that I couldn't wake up from. I wasn't sure how much time had passed; seconds, minutes, hours, I had no idea and frankly I couldn't bring myself to care. _

_After what seemed like a lifetime, I eventually mustered up the energy to lift my right hand from the steering wheel and turn the keys in the ignition. The loud roar of my truck coming to life startled me, somewhat brought me out of the daze I seemed to be in. _

_Slowly I pulled away from the cemetery, not looking back as I drove. I knew I would find Jasper and Alice at home waiting for me, I took solace in that. I wanted nothing more than to feel the warm embrace of Jasper's arms, and hear Alice's soft voice whispering comforting things in my ear. _

_With a frown I pulled into the driveway, parking my truck right next to Alice's canary yellow Porsche. I pulled the keys from the ignition, and hopped out of the cab, slamming the door behind me. I sighed deeply as I entered the house, still shaken from my trip to the cemetery. _

_"Alice?" I called out, stepping over the threshold. "Jasper?" _

_I was met with silence. I stepped through the house with a frown, and hung my keys on the hook. I heard a soft, barely audible groan come from the living room. Worried, I made my way to the back of the house._

"_Alice, Jasper?" I called out again. I stopped, frozen in place when I noticed them on the couch together. Alice was straddling Jasper's lap, their mouths locked in a heated kiss, her hands knotted in his tousled sandy locks, his hands roaming her body, greedily massaging her delicate curves. _

_I stared at them, and opened my mouth to speak, but I couldn't will my voice to work. As if he sensed my presence, he looked up at me. We made eye contact for a brief moment, before he shoved Alice off of him. Frowning Alice, looked up at him, and opened her mouth to speak but quickly shut it as she noticed my presence in the house. _

_Hastily Jasper rose from the couch, rushing over to me. "Bella…" he breathed, reaching out for me. I stepped away from his hand, and shook my head. "Don't," I said._

"_Oh my gosh, Bella! Let us explain!" Alice called from her spot on the couch, franticly she adjusted her shirt, and stood, making her way over to me. _

"_Don't," I said again in a flat emotionless voice. Jasper opened his mouth to speak, but before he had the chance to make any excuses I turned, and headed straight for the door. Without second thought, I ripped open the front door, and sprinted outside leaving Alice and Jasper behind me. _

My truck groaned and backfired loudly, bringing me out of my thoughts. To my surprise, I wasn't crying, and I didn't feel the urge to. I wasn't hurt, I was angry. For the first time, I felt a small burning hatred for the both of them, which I realized felt better than hurting because of them.

I reached over, turned the radio up as loud as it would go, and took a long drag from my cigarette. My truck groaned and backfired again, concerned, I pulled over on the side of the highway. I turned the keys once, shutting off the ignition, and stepped out of the cab.

I padded over to the front of the ancient piece of shit, and opened the hood. I didn't know much about cars, but even I knew that the way the engine was smoking wasn't good. I tossed the cigarette butt somewhere off in the right direction, walked back over to the cab of the truck, and tried starting it again, hoping that I could get it running long enough to make it home. I turned the keys, and the engine roared in protest, I frowned when it stalled. I tried starting the truck once more, but it stalled and failed.

Growling, I turned the keys with more force than necessary, willing it to roar to life. The engine backfired again, and stalled completely.

"Why, won't you fucking start?!" I growled at the ancient Chevy, kicking the tires. "Dammit!" I shouted.

"Fuck you," I muttered under my breath as I reached over into the passenger side of the cab to grab my cigarettes. Angrily, I pulled a Newport 100 from the box, and shoved it in my mouth. I brought the lighter to my face, and quickly lit it before tossing the box and lighter back into my truck.

I took an angry first hit, and kicked the tires of the truck again, mumbling under my breath. I searched around in the cab of my truck for a few moments for my phone before I realized that I left it at home on my nightstand. "Fucking, great, just lovely" I grumbled, taking another hit from my cigarette.

I stood next to my truck, nodding my head to the music that was still blaring loudly from my speakers, thankful that the engine didn't have to be running for the radio to work. With the hand that wasn't holding the cigarette I tapped my fingers roughly against the side of my leg to the beat of the Static-X song blaring from my speakers.

I contemplated walking home, but I wasn't sure how good of an idea it was. My house was easily ten miles from here. I sighed deeply in frustration, realizing that I was out of options and stranded here until someone drove by.

Somewhere in the distance, I heard the loud grumbling of a motorcycle approaching me from behind. I turned, and noticed a sleek black Harley Davidson pull up behind my truck on the side of the road. I watched apprehensively as the rider swung his leg over the seat of the Harley, making his way over to me. He removed his helmet, revealing a head of disheveled copper colored sex hair.

I instantly recognized the man as Edward Masen.

I greedily took in his appearance, staring openly at him. He was wearing black straight leg jeans with a tight fitting black muscle t-shirt that stuck to his body deliciously, and a black leather motorcycle jacket. He tucked his helmet under his arm, and approached me slowly, a puzzled look crossed his features.

"Bella?" he inquired, staring intently at me. "Why are you parked on the side of the road?" His smooth, masculine, voice made my girly bits tingle.

"I… uh… my uh, truck is being a dick," I managed to say as he stopped in front of me. He chuckled softly, I smiled at the sound.

"Do you need any help?" he asked, and flashed a crooked smile. I found myself unable to form coherent thoughts. I parted my lips, momentarily dazzled by his beauty.

"I'm sorry, what?"

"Do you need help?" he asked again, moving to stand directly in front of me, my heart beat accelerated at his proximity. I looked up at him through my eyelashes, trying to form words.

"Um… I think so, yeah" I said lamely. I blushed lightly at my obvious inability to act like I had any intelligence. Awkwardly, I took a drag from the cigarette that was still burning in my hand.

"What happened?" he asked as he sat his helmet down in the cab of my truck. He strode over to the open hood and peered inside.

"I'm not really sure," I told him, taking another hit of the smoke. "The engine backfired, and now it's stalling when I try to start it."

He removed his jacket, and handed it to me. I took it from him, and licked my lips at his exposed tattoo covered arms. I placed his jacket in the cab of the truck next to his helmet, and walked up behind him. I noticed the sliver of a tattoo poking out from the collar of his shirt on the back of his neck, and I suppressed a groan.

_Could he be anymore sexy? _I thought to myself. He bent down, sticking his arms inside of the hood. After a few moments, he stood up straight and turned around to face me. "Try it now," he instructed. I nodded, and took a final hit from the cigarette and tossed the butt off to the side. I reached inside of the truck, and turned the radio down a few notches before turning the keys. The engine groaned in protest but didn't stall, I turned the keys again, and the engine roared to life.

Edward smiled triumphantly, and shut the hood. "Well, there you go."

"Oh my God," I exclaimed. "Thank you so much! How'd you do that?"

He flashed that crooked smile, and ran a hand through his tousled bronze locks. "It was no problem. I know a thing or two about cars."

I flicked the back of my monroe piercing with the tip of my tongue and smiled sweetly at him. "You're a life saver Edward."

"Can I suggest that you get a vehicle that's a little less ancient?" he chuckled, his emerald orbs twinkling with amusement.

"It might be a good idea," I replied smiling. He strode over, reaching behind me and grabbed his helmet and jacket from the cab of my truck. His body brushed up against mine, and I shivered from the contact as a small electric current ran from the tip of my spine down to my toes.

He pulled on his jacket, and winked at me. With his helmet under his arm, he walked back over to his Harley. He swung on leg over the seat, straddling the bike.

"Thanks again for helping me," I said.

"Anytime," he replied. "See you at school tomorrow, Bella." He pulled his helmet over his head, and revved his motorcycle.

"See you," I said as he released the clutch, and sped away.

I walked back to my truck, hopped in the cab, shutting the door behind me. I put the gear in drive, and drove away wondering what the hell just happened.

* * *

**Author's Note: **Hey guys! The chapter was a bit longer this time. I'm working on chapter twelve as we speak, so it should be posted within the next few days. I'd like to thank all the people who are reading this, following, favoring, and reviewing. I love all of you.

xoxoxoxox  
-raybabiieex3


	12. Chapter 12

**SM OWNS TWILIGHT**

**Chapter Twelve**

I made sure not to push the truck past 50 miles per hour as I made my way home. After an almost thirty minute drive, I finally pulled the beat up Chevy into my driveway along side Rosalie's BMW. I shut of the ignition, opened the door and stepped out of the truck.

I strolled up to the front of the house, and pushed open the door. I hung the keys on the hook, and made my way upstairs. I glanced at the clock when I entered my room, and it read 2:09 PM. I realized that I had to get ready for my shift at 2:30, so I stripped off my sweats, and headed for the bathroom.

I reached into the shower, and turned on the water, adjusting it to a temperature of my liking. When the water reached a nice level of warm but not too warm, I stepped in and sighed as the spray beat against my skin. I leaned my head back, soaking my hair and grabbed my favorite strawberry scented shampoo. I lathered my hair slowly, wallowing in the fruity aroma.

My thoughts drifted back to Jasper and Alice. I couldn't stop thinking about my encounter with Alice at the cemetery. The longer my mind lingered there, the angrier I became. I didn't know why they seemed to think mumbling a few apologies could fix what they did. It simply wasn't that easy.

A small part of me wanted to forgive Alice, but I was far too angry with her. I wanted to throw punches at her pretty face more than I wanted to be her friend again.

I wanted nothing to do with Jasper, I didn't want to forgive him but I still loved him. I didn't think I really even wanted to be with him, I just didn't want him to be with Alice – or anyone else for that matter. If I couldn't move on, why should he be able to? It wasn't fair, especially because I'm the victim here.

I leaned back under the spray, and rinsed the soap out of my hair. I reached for a wash cloth, and grabbed the bottle of vanilla scented body wash. I lathered up the wash cloth, and scrubbed my body.

I bent down at the waist, gingerly wiping over the new tattoo on my foot. I allowed the spray to gently wash away the suds of soap covering the pink, orange, and yellow roses.

As I washed the rest of my body, my thoughts drifted toward Edward. _Who the hell is he? _I literally knew nothing about him, or who he was. He was obviously new to Forks, but I had no idea where he was from. He knew a thing or two about cars and how to fix them, and was nice enough to pull over on the freeway to lend a hand to a stranger. He had beautiful tattooed covered arms, a gorgeous angular face, sexy tousled sex hair, lovely emerald eyes, and a velvety smooth voice that made me swoon.

I was terribly curious about Edward Masen, and I was determined to learn more about him.

I quickly finished up in the shower, and shut off the water. I stepped out of the tub, and grabbed a white towel from the rack. I wrapped it securely around my body and padded back to my room. When I entered my room, I dropped the towel, and opened my underwear drawer. I pulled out a pair of lacy black boy shorts, and a matching bra. I slipped on the underwear set, before walking over to my closet for a pair of jeans.

I picked the first pair that I saw, and pulled them on. I bent down and picked up the grey V-neck shirt by my foot, and pulled it over my head. I glanced at myself in the mirror, and lightly ran my fingers through my hair, not bothering to straighten it or even blow dry it.

I made my back to the bathroom, and brushed my teeth .I looked at myself in the mirror for a few moments, lightly brushing over the small bar bell in my eyebrow with the tips of my fingers. I finished up brushing my teeth, and reached into the bathroom cabinet for the bottle of piercing cleaning solution, and a cotton ball.

I wet the cotton ball with the solution, gingerly wiping the piercing site. When I finished cleaning the piercing, I tossed the cotton ball in the trash can, and made my way downstairs.

I quickly entered the kitchen and snatched a can of Red Bull from the fridge, then grabbed my keys from the hook and hopped in the truck. I silently prayed that I wouldn't have anymore problems with it today. On the way to Spoons I stopped at the local gas station for a new pack of cigarettes.

I made it to the tattoo shop ten minutes before my shift started, so I used that time to smoke a cigarette before entering the building. Renesmee smiled cheerily at me when I finally entered the shop. I smiled widely back at her as I made my way to the front counter, taking a seat on my stool.

From the corner of my eye I noticed Renesmee's boyfriend, Jacob sitting across the room talking animatedly with Embry. I had only met Jacob on a few occasions, I didn't know much about him but I knew Renesmee was crazy about him. He seemed like a nice enough guy, he was fairly attractive as well. He and Renesmee were perfect together.

"Hey Bella," Jacob called from across the room. He stood, and strode over to me, smiling sadly. "I heard about your sister," he commented. "I'm sorry, I hope she's alright."

I smiled tightly at him. "Thanks Jacob."

In Forks, gossip spread like wildfire, it was one of the many things I found myself hating about this god forsaken town. In a town where everyone knew everything about everybody secrets didn't exist. Nothing stayed quiet for long.

I nodded my head to the heavy metal music playing in the shop. Singing along to Bullet For My Valentine's Your Betrayal. As I tapped my fingers to the beat of the song on the counter, I felt a new song forming itself in my head.

Quickly I grabbed a notebook from my bag, and a pencil writing down the words as they formed.

_Sunshine, there ain't a thing that you can do that's gonna ruin my night. But, there's just something about you. This dizzy dreamer and his bleeding little blue boy. Licking your fingers like your done and, you decided there is so much more than me._

_And baby, honestly it's harder breathing next to you, I shake. I brought a gun in as the preacher tried to stop me. Oh, my heart is beating for you anyway._

I jumped when I felt someone lightly tap me on the shoulder from behind. "Jesus Embry, you scared the shit out of me."

He grinned, and hopped up on the counter next to me. "Are you writing a new song?" he asked.

I nodded my head in response, tapping my pencil on the rim of my notebook. "Can I look at it?"

I looked up at him for a few moments, his eyes swam with curiosity. Sighing, I reluctantly nodded and pushed the notebook towards him. He eagerly took the notebook, and scanned the page with his eyes.

"I like this!" he exclaimed. I blushed, and thanked him sheepishly.

"I think I can hear where you're going with this," he said. "Can I add something?"

"Yeah, sure." I replied, smiling. This wasn't the first time Embry had assisted me in the writing process. Like me, Embry played the guitar and sang. I loved his imput and was always eager to take him up on his offers to help.

He took the pencil from me and quickly scribbled down a few words. When he finished, he handed the notebook back to me. "Tell me what you think," he said.

_What if I can't forget you? I'll burn your name into my throat . I'll be the fire that will catch you._

"I like that!" I told him. I grinned and wrote down the next set of lyrics that popped into my head.

"What about this?" I asked.

_What's so good about picking up the pieces? None of the colors ever light up anymore in this hole._

"Yeah, yeah, yeah," Embry said almost to himself. "That's good,"

I smiled widely at him. "We make a good team," I commented.

He nodded in agreement, "hell yeah we do" he exclaimed, and ruffled the hair on top of my head.

The rest of my shift passed by fairly quickly, for which I was thankful. I was eager to return to my bed and curl up in a ball with that bottle of Jack and drink away all thoughts of Alice and Jasper.

Embry and I agreed that he should stop by my house some time this week to work on the song he helped me out with. I liked where the song was going, and I knew that I wanted to finish it with him.

As I was driving my phone rang loudly, bringing me out of my thoughts. I pulled it from my pocket, and flipped it open.

"Hey Em," I answered.

_"Hey Bells," Emmett's loud voice greeted back. _

"How's Rose?" I asked quickly.

_"She's alright, she's why I'm calling actually," he said. "She really misses you Bella, I think you should come visit her tomorrow instead of going in."_

"Are you sure you're okay with that?"

_"You can miss work for one day, I won't kill you" he chuckled lightly. _

I laughed "okay, Emmett. I'll definitely stop by the hospital tomorrow, I miss Rose too."

_"That's what I like to hear," Emmett said before the line went dead. _

I knew instantly what I would do when I went to visit my sister tomorrow, she was in for a real treat.

I finally arrived home, and sighed thankfully. When I entered the house, I headed straight for my bedroom and plopped down on my bed. I didn't realize until then how tired I actually was. Before I realized what was happening, I quickly fell into a dreamless sleep.

-oooOooo-

The annoying beeping of my phone's alarm woke me in the morning. I groaned as I sat up and stretched my arms high above my head. I frowned when I realized that I was still wearing my clothes from yesterday.

I stripped and headed straight for the shower. I didn't feel like going to school today. However, I wanted to see Edward again and hopefully learn more about this mysterious newcomer.

I quickly showered, dressed and brushed my teeth. I headed downstairs, and grabbed a Red Bull from the fridge, and took my keys from the hook. I swung open the door and shoved the keys into the ignition. I turned the keys and frowned when the engine stalled.

"Oh no, not this shit again." I growled under my breath. With more force than necessary, I turned the keys again and smiled triumphantly when the engine roared to life. I hopped up into the icy cab and pulled out of the driveway.

With one hand still on the wheel I reached over and cracked open my can of Red Bull and took a long swig. I reached for the pack of cigarettes and lighter resting on the dashboard and quickly lit one, shoving the pack into my bag.

Ten minutes later I pulled into the Forks' High School parking lot in an empty space toward the back of the lot. I stepped out of the cab, locking the door behind me. I pulled the cigarettes from my bag and lit another one, anxious to see Edward again.

"Bella!" I heard Angela call as she got out of her silver mini van, and sprinted toward me.

"Hey Ange," I greeted her as she approached my truck and I.

"I didn't see you yesterday," she laughed, narrowing her eyes at me.

"It was bound to happen eventually," I told her, taking a hit from my cigarette.

"It was the second day of school!" she exclaimed, laughing loudly.

"Yeah, well..." I replied, shrugging my shoulders. I took one last hit from the cigarette before throwing it across the lot. Angela and I quickly made our way into the building before the bell rang.

The first half of the day passed by slowly. For the first time, I actually found myself looking forward to biology. I only had Edward Masen to thank for that. I couldn't explain this maddening curiosity that I had for him, but I knew that I had to get to know him.

I quickly took my seat at our shared desk and tried not to watch the door as I waited for him to arrive. A heard of students rushed into the class room just as the late bell rang. I frowned when I noticed that Edward wasn't there. As class dragged on I came to the conclusion that he wasn't coming to class today, and I tried not to be disappointed about that.

His absence only made me more curious about him.

When the bell rang, signaling that school was over I rushed over to my truck, and went home. I was looking forward to my hospital visit with Rosalie. I missed my sister being at home, it was lonely without her there.

I pulled my truck into the drive and rushed inside, leaving the engine running. I burst into my room, and grabbed my guitar from the stand, carefully placing her in the case.

I practically ran out to the truck, overly excited to see my sister. I opened the door and slid my guitar across the cab over to the passenger's side. I reached into my bag and pulled out the cigarettes, quickly smoking one on the drive to the hospital.

I pulled into the hospital parking lot, grabbed my guitar and headed straight for my sister's room.

I poked my head inside of her door and knocked.

"Rosalie?" I called. She beamed up at me. "Oh Bella!" I smiled at her excitement.

"It's so good to see you Bells," she said as I sat my guitar down on the foot of her bed. I walked over to her and she pulled me into a tight embrace.

"I know Rose, I miss you at home." I smiled into her shoulder. After a few moments she finally released me from her clutches. I took a step back and sat on the edge of her bed next to my guitar.

"You brought your guitar?" she asked, smiling widely.

"I thought I do something to cheer you up." I told her and reached for my guitar. I opened the case and pulled the guitar from the case. Grinning at my sister, I placed the case on the floor. I held the guitar in my lap, running my fingers on the smooth wood of her neck.

"I know you like this song in particular," I said quietly as I strummed the strings.

_"You said be patient cause I got a lot to say, got a lot to say . Well I'm ready for your will ready for your ways. I'm at the point where it's undecided, the path that marks my life is but I'm finding. I have a heart but it's being hardened cause I feel left alone."_

I smiled widely at Rosalie's loud squeal of excitement. I continued strumming the chords of the song and smiled to myself as I sang the chorus.

_"Whisper to me, just say anything. Will I be safe? You got me, do you got me? I swear I thought I had this figured out. Was that you talking or was that just my way out of a dream? Please just whisper to me."_

I looked up at my sister as I strummed the fast paced chords of the song, and grinned as she nodded her head to the music.

_"I've seen you speak a hundred times before when you shut the door. Another opens up but I've hit the floor. I feel like I am just being selfish. I need some faith to see but that's the toughest. I have a heart but its being hardened cause I feel left alone._

_Whisper to me, just say anything. Will I be safe? You got me, do you got me? I swear I thought I had this figured out. Was that you talking or was that just my way out of a dream? Please just whisper to me._

_You said you'd never let me go. My God, my God I know. I need your help right now, cause I am nothing on my own. _

_Whisper to me, just say anything. Will I be safe? You got me, do you got me? I swear I thought I had this figured out. Was that you talking or was that just my way out of a dream? Please just whisper to me."_

When the song came to an end, I smiled up at Rosalie.

"Gah!" she exclaimed. "I just love that song."

"I knew it would cheer you up," I told her as I placed the guitar back in her case.

"You know me too well," Rosalie laughed. "So, what's going out there in the real world?" she asked.

"You're not missing much," I told her. "I did see Alice yesterday though."

"What do you mean, "you saw Alice yesterday"?"

"I went to visit dad," I paused before speaking again "and she was there too."

"Why?" Rosalie sneered, making no effort to hide her dislike of my ex-best friend.

"Hell if I know," I replied.

"Did you talk to her?"

"She tried apologizing to me again, she looked so _sad._"

"Are you thinking about forgiving her or something?" Rosalie shot at me.

"No, no!" I almost shouted, raising my hands up defensively.

"I really don't think you should Bella," Rosalie said, an icy undertone in her voice. "She's not a good friend."

"Thank you Capitan obvious," I murmured sarcastically.

"I'm just saying Bell, she fucked your boyfriend, she can't be trusted."

"I don't trust her!" I retorted.

"I really think you need to stay far away from her," she suggested.

"It's not like I plan on being BFF's with her again Rose, you're acting like I just welcomed her back into my life with open arms."

"I just know you, you can't stay mad at people. I'm surprised you've lasted this long."

"I can assure you Rose, Alice and I will never, _ever _be friends again." As I said the words, I wasn't sure how much I believed them. It seemed like it was only a matter of time before my resolve faltered and I allowed Alice to be part of my life again. The thought scared me because I wasn't sure if I wanted to set myself up to be hurt again, but I knew Rosalie was right; I couldn't stay mad at people, especially not Alice.

* * *

**Author's Note: **Hello everyone! I had quite a bit of writer's block while writing this, it's not the best but I needed to post a new chapter. I'll try working on chapter thirteen sometime soon.

Thank you for the reviews, for reading, for following, and for favoring this story. I love all of you guys.

**The song Bella and Embry are working on is called Caraphernelia by Pierce The Veil, featuring Jeremy McKinnon of A Day To Remember and the song Bella sings for Rosalie is called Whisper by Skyhawk Drive. **

****xoxoxo  
raybabiieex3


	13. Chapter 13

**SM OWNS TWILIGHT **

**Chapter thirteen**

"That sounds stupid!" I exclaimed, peering over Embry's shoulder as he scribbled down a verse of lyrics.

"Gee, thanks for giving it to me lightly." he replied, a look of mock hurt crossed his features.

I shoved him lightly on the shoulder and took the notebook from him. I picked up my pencil and crossed out a few of the sentences he had written and replaced them with my own.

"Here," I said handing him the notebook "look at this."

_Nobody prays for the heartless. Nobody gives another penny for the selfish. _

"Oooo" he exclaimed "that's good."

"I know I am." I said as I lit another cigarette.

"You've smoked at least half of that pack within the hour that I've been here," Embry reprimanded. "That's ridiculous."

"Shove it Embry," I retorted, taking a long drag.

"Do you know how terrible smoking is for you?" he said. "You're going to give yourself cancer."

"We're all going to die eventually," I said. "I don't see why it matters." I took another long drag and blew the smoke in his face. He grimaced and shoved me away from him. I laughed and sat up against the head-board of my bed.

Embry sat at the end of my bed with his legs crossed, notebook and pencil in hand. I watched as the pencil flew across the page. After a few moments he grinned and looked up at me.

"Alright," he said handing the notebook back over to me "tell me what you think about _this._"

_You're learning how to taste what you kill now. Don't mind me, I'm just reaching for your necklace._

I read the lyrics and hummed in approval. "That's good," I said. "I have something."

I jotted down another line and handed the notebook back to him.

_Talking to my daddy 'bout this little boy from Texas._

Embry read the lyric and brought his eyes up to meet mine. "Tell me about this guy you're always writing these songs about?"

"What do you mean?" I asked, taking another hit from my smoke.

"I mean, who are you always writing about? What the hell did this guy do to you?"

I glanced up at Embry as I hit the cigarette once more. Embry and I had always had an easy friendship. Hanging out was him was as easy as breathing. We didn't get serious often but when we did, I always felt better afterwards.

"They're about my ex, he cheated on me." I told him, down casting my eyes.

"Are you serious?" He dropped his jaw.

"As a heart attack."

"He's an idiot then," Embry said as a matter of factly.

"I just wasn't what he wanted I guess."

"Like I said, he's an idiot."

"You're too kind," I chuckled. I hit the cigarette one last time before putting it out in my ashtray.

"I'm serious Bella, I can't believe he cheated on _you. _Of all people, you're amazing." Embry said, grabbing my hand. I blushed ferociously.

"Yeah," I laughed without humour "right."

"Who did he cheat with?" he asked.

I was quiet for a few moments. I contemplated smoking another cigarette. I tapped the pencil on the edge of the notebook. Finally I looked up at him. "My best friend," I admitted just above a whisper.

"Oh Bells, that's awful!" Embry exclaimed. He squeezed my hand tightly with his fingers, he looked at me with sad eyes.

"Tell me something I don't know." I muttered, awkwardly fiddling with the pages of the notebook.

"You still have feelings for him, don't you?"

"Isn't it obvious?"

"Yeah, well... I suppose it is," he laughed lightly but the smile didn't reach his eyes.

"You should try dating again," he suggested.

"I'd rather not," I replied curtly.

"Why not?" he asked. "What do you got to lose?"

"I'm just not interested in dating right now," I told him in a tone that ended the conversation. Embry nodded, released my hand and took the notebook from me.

"I think the chorus should repeat again right here," he said, changing the subject.

"Yeah, that sounds good." I nodded my head in agreement. I peered over his shoulder as he scribbled down another sentence.

_Just get on back to me. You know I can't afford the medicine that feeds what I need._

"I really want to perform this," he said after a few moments of comfortable silence.

"Seriously?" I raised an eyebrow at him.

"No joke, this-" he pointed to the notebook "is awesome."

"Seriously though?"

"I think we should do a full band performance of this song at Esme's this Saturday."

"A full band performance?" I laughed. "There's only one problem with that, we don't have a band."

"We can form one!" Embry exclaimed, his eyes twinkling with excitement.

"Who the hell would we even put in this "band"?" I asked using air quotations around the word band.

"Nessie can play bass," he told me. "And I know someone messes around with the drums a little. Then you and I both play guitar and sing!"

"I really don't want to form a band Embry."

"We're not forming a band necessarily, we're just doing it for this one song." he said.

"The song isn't even finished yet," I said.

"We can finish it!" He said excitedly.

"Yeah, _we _can finish it, but what about the bass and drums? I've never written that much of a song before."

"What if we all get together tonight and just mess around with a few notes?" he offered.

I groaned. It was obvious that Embry wasn't going to drop this, and I wasn't sure if I had the heart to tell him no because of how excited he looked.

"Alright," I said finally. "Fine, but only this once."

"YES!" He shouted and patted me on the back. "That's my girl."

"You do realize that Friday is three days away, right?" I said. "Do you even think we could get all of this done by then?"

"Have a little faith Bella."

-oooOooo-

It turns out that the "someone" Embry knew who messed around with the drums was actually his cousin Quil, who didn't just "mess around" with the drums. He was a drumming God sent from the heavens.

Like me, Renesmee wasn't too happy about forming this so called band, even if it was only for one night. I think Jacob talked her into it, Quil and Embry were his two best friends apparently, it only made sense that he was the one who got Renesmee to go along with this.

I had never met Quil before today, I liked him though. He reminded me of Embry a little. They both had the same longish dark hair and striking blue eyes. However Quil's face was round and a bit pudgy, while Embry's was long and angular.

"I can't believe I'm actually doing this," Renesmee groaned as we walked down the steps into Embry's basement.

"Stop bitching Ness," Embry called from the bottom of the steps. My eyes widened when we finally entered the basement. The room was decked out with band equipment. There were electric guitars hanging from the wall, a drum set in the middle of the room, with two microphones in front of it. I also noticed the huge amp in the back of the room that was probably about as tall as Renesmee.

"Jesus Embry," I breathed. "Where'd you get all of this stuff?"

"I was in a band in high school," he responded, shrugging his shoulders.

On the east side of the basement Quil was sitting in the middle of a large black couch with his feet up on the coffee table. He waved in my direction, smiling cheerily at me.

"Hi Quil," I said to him as I sat down.

"Did it hurt?" he asked with a grin.

"Did what hurt?"

"When you fell out of heaven?"

I laughed loudly when Embry smacked him on the back of the head. "Shut up Quil." He commanded as he took a seat next to me on the couch. Renesmee took a seat on the arm of the couch and turned to face us.

"Please tell me you and Bella are finished with this song," she begged.

"Paitence is a virtue Ness, stop being a sour puss." Embry said without looking at her.

"I actually finished the lyrics after you left," I told Embry as I pulled the notebook from my bag. Embry took the notebook from me and eagerly scanned the page with his eyes.

"I really like this," Embry said quietly to himself as he read over the last bits of the song.

"I was thinking earlier," he said handing the notebook back to me "that I could scream the "what if I can't forget you? I'll burn your name into my throat, I'll be the fire that'll catch you" parts of the song, instead of just singing them. What do you think?"

I thought about it for a few moments, playing the song in my head. First with Embry singing the lyrics, second with him screaming them. I decided that I agreed with Embry and that he should definitely scream them instead of singing them.

"Mmhmm definitely," I said "scream them."

I leaned in closer to his side and showed him the notebook. "See these lyrics here that are in parentheses?" I asked, pointing to the page. He nodded in response and looked up at me.

"I was thinking that you could sing those in the background," I suggested. "Like this," I said and opened my mouth to sing.

"Sunshine there ain't a thing that you can do that's gonna ruin my night," I sang in a high soprano voice. "And then you'll sing "but there's just something about you," I sang "and I'll sing "this dizzy dreamer and her bleeding little blue boy."

Embry appeared deep in thought for a few moments before he looked up at me and grinned. "Hell yeah!" he exclaimed "I like that."

"Let me see that notebook," Renesemee commanded. I reached over and placed the notebook in her open hands.

"I think I have something in my head for the guitar parts," I told everyone.

"Show us whatcha got," Embry smiled and pointed to his small collection of electric guitars. I rose from my spot on the couch and strode over to the guitars, cautiously removing the all black one from the wall. I noticed that this guitar was heavier than my acoustic, I prayed that I wouldn't drop it.

I reached behind me and connected the amp to the guitar before strumming a few strings on the guitar.

"Alright, here goes" I mumbled under my breath. I played the first few notes of the tune that I had been hearing in my head all day, humming the lyrics of the song as I strummed the strings.

From the corner of my eye I noticed Quil stand up and make his way over to the drum set. He quickly sat down and started playing, his tune molding perfectly with mine.

"Bella!" he called over the music. "Start from the top," he commanded. I nodded and started playing from the beginning. I nodded my head to the beat of Quil's drum line.

"Add the lyrics to that," Embry called as he rose and grabbed a guitar for himself. Renesmee followed right behind him and grabbed a bass before moving to stand on the right side of me. After grabbing his guitar and connecting it to the amp Embry moved to stand on my left side.

Renesmee played a few bass notes as Quil continued playing the drum line. "Speed it up a bit," I instructed them as I started playing the opening guitar notes. Embry followed our lead as he started playing, nodding his head to the music.

I tapped my foot to the tempo of the song as I played and opened my mouth to sing. I took a deep breath and leaned into the microphone. "Sunshine there ain't a thing that you can do that's gonna ruin my night."

"But there's just something about you," Embry sang, leaning into the microphone.

"This dizzy dreamer and her bleeding little blue boy. Licking your fingers like your done and you decided there is so much more than me. And baby, honestly it's harder breathing next to you, I shake. I brought a gun in as the preacher tried to stop me. Oh, my heart is beating for you anyway."

When Embry screamed his verse into the microphone I whipped my head around and gaped at him. _He's so good_ I thought to myself. I smiled widely and nodded my head to Quil's drum playing. I loved the feeling of making music. It was invigorating. For a few brief moments, I wasn't thinking about Jasper or Alice. I wasn't the pathetic girl who found her best friend making it to third base with her boyfriend.

I was Bella, the girl with an awesome talent, who made music and loved every second of it. I felt a surge of energy and power as I played with Embry, Renesemee and Quil. For the first time I felt strong, like nothing could tear me down.

I never wanted the feeling to go away.

* * *

**Author's Note: **Hello everyone! I hope you enjoyed the chapter. I'll start working on fourteen soon, I need to take a smoking break. It'll be posted within the next few days. I have some good stuff planned for this story, shits about to get real. No joke. Thank you for following this story and reading. Thank you to the lovely people who take the time to review. And thank you to the people who have favored this story. I truly love all of you.

Again the song everyone was working on in this chapter is called Caraphernelia by Pierce The Veil featuring Jeremy Mckinnon. For those of you who haven't listened to Pierce The Veil I really suggest you do. They're one of my favorite bands, they're really talented. I love 'em.

xoxoxo  
raybabiieex3


	14. Chapter 14

**Disclaimer: **SM owns Twilight

**Chapter fourteen **

To my intense surprise Embry, Quil, Renesmee and I had finished our song only after one night of practicing. We sounded great, I knew the performance would go well but I still found myself dreading it. I was terribly nervous about Saturday night, maybe even more than usual. I didn't know what to expect from the crowd - especially Jasper and Alice.

I wondered if they knew that the majority of my songs these days were about them. I suppose it was obvious, it was almost impossible for them not to notice the message I was sending. I wondered what they thought of my lyrics. A part of me hoped that my lyrics would guilt trip them. I wanted them to feel shitty for the pain they've caused me, as terrible as that sounds.

My ancient piece of shit Chevy barely made it to the Forks High School parking lot before the engine started backfiring and groaning in protest. With an annoyed frown I pulled into a parking space next to Angela's silver mini van. I shut engine off and pulled the keys from the ignition.

I snatched the pack of cigarettes resting on my dashboard and quickly lit myself one. I inhaled deeply, taking in the gentle smoke. Cradling the filter between my fingers, I opened the door, grabbed my bag from the passenger's side and hopped out of the cab.

In the distance I noticed Alice's Porsche pull into the lot and park a few spaces down from me. She stepped out the car, looking as beautiful as ever in a pair of tight-fitting skinny jeans, a crème colored chiffon top and a pair of soft pink peep toe heels. I instantly felt insignificant. My ripped up skinny jeans, loose-fitting black V-neck t-shirt and beat up converse were nothing compared to her designer attire.

Jasper opened the door to the passenger's side and stepped out. His appearance - as always - took my breath away. He was wearing a light beige sweater that clung to his chest in a way that made my mouth water and a pair of khaki pants.

My heart dropped when he smiled and walked over to Alice, draping his arm across her shoulders. She smiled into his embrace and tightly wrapped her arm around his waist before leaning up on her tip toes to place a light kiss on his cheek. It made me sick to think about how perfect they looked together.

Frowning I brought the cigarette to my lips and took a long drag. I inhaled deeply and exhaled the smoke through my nose. Without second thought I walked up to the front door of the building. I took one last hit from the half smoked cigarette before throwing it across the lot as I walked right past them. I could feel their eyes on me as I entered the building, I did my best to ignore them.

I wondered if Edward would come to biology today. I didn't want to admit it to myself but I was secretly hoping he'd make an appearance. I longed to talk to with him and gain more information about him.

Every single one of my morning classes passed by at an agonizingly slow pace. Almost all of my thoughts this morning had centered around Edward and his beauty. He was arguably the sexiest man I'd ever seen. I'd even go as far as to say that he was better looking than Jasper. I blushed deeply when I found myself fantasizing about Edward and I in various compromising positions every time I spaced out.

I entered Mr. Banner's class room just as the bell rang. "Two days in a row?" Mr. Banner rose his eye brow at me. "That has to be a record for you Ms. Swan."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah" I grumbled under my breath as I passed his desk. I bit back my smile when I noticed Edward sitting next to my open seat. I tried to keep from gawking at him as I sat down. He looked positively delicious. His tight-fitting navy blue V-neck shirt, clung to his chest exposing his tattoo covered arms and the black skinny jeans he had on hugged his body in a way that made my girly bits tingle. I was terribly attracted to Edward and wanted to have sex with him, lots of sex with him.

I wanted him to ravish my body with his hands and fuck me until I forgot my name.

Slowly I sat down, sneaking quick glances at him from the corner of my eye. He wasn't looking at me, he was staring ahead, seemingly lost in thought. I turned away from him and pulled a notebook from my bag, placing it on the desk in front of me.

I squinted my eyes, trying to see the board as Mr. Banner put the drill on the screen. I could barely see the small letters and Mr. Banner's terrible penmanship only made it worse. Sighing I reached for my bag and fished around for my glasses.

I pulled out the case and opened it, gingerly putting the glasses on my face. I snapped the case shut and tossed it back in my bag. I wasn't a fan of wearing my glasses in public but I wanted to at least make an attempt to care about this stupid class.

I tapped my fingers anxiously on the desk, searching for a way to break the ice with Edward. I hoped that he would be the one to say something first.

I could feel his eyes on me as I crossed my left leg over my right and adjusted my shirt. I kept waiting for him to say something to me but as class dragged on I had the feeling that I would have to be the first one to break the ice if I wanted to get anywhere with him.

I sat up straight in my seat and cleared my throat. "Hi Edward," I said awkwardly, shifting uncomfortably in my seat.

He nodded curtly in response.

_Um, okay? _

I turned to face him, examining his tired looking face. His eyes were swollen and slightly blood-shot, he had deep purple bags beneath them making him look extremely exhausted and strung out.

I noticed that his hair seemed to be messier than usual. It was sticking out haphazardly in all directions, like he had been running his fingers aggressively through it and that he hadn't shaved and had a small bit of stubble growing out along his jaw line.

"You look strung out," I blurted out. I gasped quietly, bringing my fingers to my lips, blushing a deep crimson. I shrank back in my seat a bit when he turned to glare at me.

"Oh... uh... that was probably... um, sorry..." I mumbled, awkwardly pushing my glasses higher up on my nose.

He stayed silent, sending me a glare that made my stomach churn. The term "if looks could kill" ran through my mind. I gulped audibly and scooted away from him.

"Why weren't you in class yesterday?" I asked and bit my lip anxiously. He closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose between his fore finger and thumb. He was silent for a few moments before he finally spoke again.

"I'd really appreciate it if you'd _stop talking to me,_" he said with an icy undertone in his voice. I was slightly taken aback at his sudden rudeness. I shot him a dirty look and turned away from him.

"Right," I muttered under my breath. I picked up my pencil and tried to pay attention to the lesson Mr. Banner was teaching.

I didn't try talking to Edward again. I kept stealing quick glances at him from the corner of my eye. He hadn't changed position once during class, he sat slouched in his seat, staring off into space, arms crossed against his chest and a grimace on his face.

_I wonder what crawled up his ass today? _

When the bell rang he kicked his seat back and left the room without looking back. I suddenly felt the urge to smoke. I let out a loud sigh and pushed my chair away from the desk. I swung my bag over my shoulder and quickly rushed out of the room.

As soon as I pushed open the front door of the building, I reached into my back and pulled out my cigarettes. I quickly pulled one out and placed the filter between my lips before bringing the lighter up to my face and lighting it.

I took a long first drag, roughly inhaling and exhaling the smoke. I quickly strode over to my truck. As I was walking I noticed Edward straddling his Harley. We made eye contact for a few moments before he frowned and shoved his helmet on his head.

As he rode past me he revved the engine of his bike, making me jump. I glared at him, sending daggers flying at his back as he sped off onto the freeway. I opened the door to my truck with a bit more force than necessary and threw myself into the cab.

_Edward Masen, you are a dick. _

-oooOooo-

The following day Edward wasn't at school. I'd be lying if I said that I was disappointed. I still found myself terribly curious about Edward Masen. His small act of douchebagary only worsened my curiosity.

_What had him so pissy? _I wondered to myself. _Where does he even go when he's not in school? Why does he skip? _

I almost thought that it had something to do with me. _Maybe he just doesn't like me for some reason? _Which made no sense because if he had any sort of animosity towards me he wouldn't have pulled over on the side of the road to fix my truck.

_Then why was he acting like a total dick and skipping the only class he has with me? _

I couldn't figure him out and I found myself wanting desperately to do just that. I let out a loud agitated sigh and roughly ran my fingers through my hair. _Damn you Edward Masen. _

"What's your problem?" Renesmee asked as she strode over to me. I could feel her eyes on me as she hopped up onto the counter next to me.

"I don't have a problem," I answered without turning around, keeping my eyes on the game of Solitare that I was playing.

"Yeah ya do," she said. I waved her away with my hand, not breaking my concentration on the game.

"It's not Jasper and Alice is it?"

"No, it's not." I told her honestly. I realized then that for the first time my thoughts were plagued by someone other than Jasper and Alice.

"Shouldn't you be with Rosalie?" Embry called as he entered the shop.

"I felt like working today," I replied, not looking away from the computer screen.

"How is she?" He asked from across the room.

"She's fine," I replied curtly.

"What crawled up your ass?" Embry chuckled, walking over to me. Without responding I turned and flipped him the bird. I pushed myself away from the front counter and hopped off the stool. I grabbed my cigarettes from the counter and headed straight for the door.

I pulled a cigarette from the box and casually leaned against the brick wall of the building. I placed the filter between my lips and brought the lighter to my face.

Truthfully I wasn't sure what my problem was. I blamed Edward. He confused me and frankly, he aggravated me. From him being an ass to him driving my body crazy with want, I couldn't handle it.

What aggravated me more than his random urge to be an ass was that I actually _cared. _I couldn't stop thinking about him. If I wasn't thinking about how much of a dick he was, I was thinking about how gorgeous he was.

I brought the cigarette to my lips, cradling the filter between my pointer and middle finger.

I was wildly attracted to Edward.

His disheveled sex hair, smooth masculine voice and tattoos made my grily bits tingle in a way that left me feeling terribly sexually frustrated. I hadn't had sex since long before Jasper and I broke up. I never felt the need to have sex all of the time, I had never been some crazy sex Goddess. However now, I found myself wanting Edward to bend me over his Harley and fuck my brains out.

I took another hit from my cigarette and shook my head to clear it. _Get a grip Bella. _I reprimanded myself. _You can't have sex with Edward. _

I hit the cigarette one last time before throwing it towards the middle of the parking lot and walked back into the shop. I sauntered back to my stool, I could feel Embry and Renesmee staring at me as I walked but I ignored them.

I returned to my game of Solitare, nodding my head to the music playing softly in the shop, I could still feel Embry and Renesmee's eyes on me. After a few moments I finally turned around and glared at them.

"What?" I demanded icily.

"We-" Renesmee said, pointing between her and Embry "know what your problem is."

I chuckled lightly and rolled my eyes. "Do you now?"

"When's the last time you had sex?" Embry asked with an amused expression.

"Excuse me?"

"When's the last time you had a good, hard fucking?" Renesmee asked, staring directly at me. I blushed lightly at her bluntness and turned away from her and Embry.

"It's been a while, hasn't it?" she giggled.

"I don't see why that's any of your business," I said over my shoulder.

"Sexual frustration isn't healthy Bella," she said, walking up behind me.

"I'm not sexually frustrated."

"You're a liar," Embry laughed. "It's probably been a year since you've gotten any, no one goes that long without sex and isn't sexually frustrated."

"I can live without sex, unlike you guys. I'm not sexually frustrated." I snapped.

"You need to get laid," Renesmee commented. I turned around and glared at her.

"Leave me alone," I groaned.

"We can help you get some Bella!" Embry exclaimed. Renesmee nodded her head in agreement. "You need to get over Jasper and get fucking laid."

"Thanks but no thanks," I mumbled. "And I don't need help getting over Jasper, I'm managing fine on my own."

"Considering that you're still madly in love with Jasper, I don't think you're managing very well." Renesmee said, softly placing her hand on my shoulder.

"Come on Bells!" Embry whined. "Let us help!"

"Pleeeeeeeeease," he begged, pouting his lips.

"How do you guys want to go about helping me, exactly?" I raised an eyebrow at them.

"We'll set you up on a date," Renesmee said "and get you some dick," Embry finished for her.

I groaned and ran my fingers through my hair. "Fine!" I almost shouted. "If that's what it takes for you guys to _leave me alone._ I don't think this is going to help anything, but fucking fine." I growled.

"Bella," Rensemee grinned. "The best way to get over someone is to get under someone else."

* * *

**Author's Note: **Hello everyone! I hope you liked the chapter! Thank you for reading, following and favoring this story. I love all of you guys. I'd really appreciate some reviews; I feel almost as if this story is boring you guys a bit. Some feedback would be wonderful. I want to know what my readers are thinking!

xoxoxo  
raybabiieex3


	15. Chapter 15

**Disclaimer: **SM owns Twilight

**Chapter fifteen **

_The best way to get over someone is to get under someone else. _I internally rolled my eyes at Renesmee's words. I didn't agree with her in the slightest. Rebounding wasn't something I did, felt the urge to do, or believed in frankly. I wasn't a firm believer in casual sex at all really. It's never appealed to me.

I've always felt like sex should be between two people who are madly in love, they don't have to be married or anything but they should really care about each other. I know that sex feels good and stuff but wouldn't it feel better if you were sharing the experience with someone you deeply loved and cared for? I think so.

I know I'm a bit of a hopeless romantic but still, that's the way I feel. Which is why I'm getting so worked up over my unhealthy desire for Edward. I've never really _lusted _after someone before.

Sure, I felt lust for Jasper. I enjoyed his body and the waves of pleasure he gave me but I never felt an overwhelming desire for him. What small bits of lust I had for Jasper were nothing like the maddening urges I had for Edward.

That frightened me.

I wasn't sure how long I'd be able to ignore the urges I had for him. A part of me wondered if I really even wanted to ignore them. Edward was an asshole, I had barely spoken to him in the short amount of time that I've known him, but that much I was sure of. However, he intrigued me. I wanted to know him, I wanted _him. _And badly at that. One girl only has so much self-control. It was only a matter of time before my desire won the raging war between body and mind, inhabitation be damned.

I wasn't sure if I'd be able to handle the aftermath of Edward and I having sex. Surely, it wouldn't end well. Those things never do.

Throughout the duration of my shift at Spoons Renesemee and Embry kept staring at me with calculating expressions on their faces. Every so often they would turn away from me, whisper quietly to one and other and turn around, smirks playing at the edges of both of their mouths.

They were plotting my date, I knew it.

I found myself dreading the blind date I stupidly agreed to. I didn't want to date again. I didn't feel the urge to put myself out there. I didn't want to open my heart up to another person. I gave up so many pieces of myself in my relationship with Jasper, I wasn't sure if I was capable of letting anyone else in.

I sighed deeply and pulled a cigarette from the box, placing it between my lips. I quickly lit it and took a calming first drag as I walked over to my truck. With the hand that wasn't holding the cigarette, I opened the door and threw myself into the cab.

Once I had the keys in the ignition I reached over and flipped on the radio. I was hoping that I could find some sort of distraction from the music. I rolled down my window as I pulled out of the Spoons parking lot. I hung my hand out of the window as I drove, smiling to myself as the cool air burned my skin.

I flipped through the tracks on the CD I had left in the slot for a few moments, trying to find something I felt like listening to. Eventually I settled for Blink 182's All The Small Things and turned up the volume.

The upbeat, pop-punk sound deeply contrasted from my usual hard rock, heavy metal music choices but I still found myself nodding my head to the music and singing along to the lyrics of the familiar tune.

After a ten minute commute I pulled into my drive way and parked next to my sister's BMW. I pulled the keys from the ignition and stepped out of the cab. I took one last hit from my cigarette before throwing the butt somewhere in my front yard and entered the house.

My thoughts drifted back to Edward. I wanted to see him again, I hoped that he would be in biology tomorrow. I was more than agitated by his dickbag attitude, but I still felt an unexplainable desire to see him again.

I slowly dragged myself up the stairs and entered my bedroom. I quickly stripped my clothes and replaced them with a simple pair of sweats and an old band t-shirt. Without second thought I slipped into bed, burying myself beneath the duvets and sheets.

I felt sleep creeping up on me and I didn't fight it. Quickly I fell into a deep sleep with dreams of sparkling emerald green eyes, copper colored sex hair and colorful tattoos painted beautifully on the pale canvas of Edward's arms.

**oooOooo**

I felt slightly embarrassed at school the next day because my growing obsession for Edward Masen had escalated to the point of having dreams about him. I felt a small blush pool beneath my cheeks at the thought.

Mr. Banner gave me a skeptical look as I entered his class room. It was out of character for me to show up to his class at all, let alone three days in a row. I resisted the urge to roll my eyes at him as I made my way to my seat.

Class dragged on and it became clear that I wouldn't be seeing Edward today. I was disappointed by his absence, but not all that surprised by it.

I jumped when I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket. I pulled it out, and slid it open so I could access the full keyboard.

_One New Message: Embry _

I quickly opened the text and frowned.

_Come to my place after school for one last practice before Esme's tomorrow night._

_-Embry_

I groaned softly to myself. Thanks to my Edward hazed thoughts I had completely forgotten about my upcoming performance at Esme's.

When the bell rang, I quickly gathered my things and headed straight for my truck. I chain smoked half a pack of cigarettes on the fifteen minute drive to La Push. I drove through the reservation, quickly finding Embry's house and pulled into his drive along side Renesmee's car.

I entered Embry's home without knocking and made my way downstairs to the basement. Quil smiled widely at me when I entered the room. "Hey Bella," he said cheerily.

"Hello," I smiled at him. I acknowledged Embry and Rensemee with a quick nod and strode over to the microphone to stand next to them. With a smirk Embry handed me the all black electric guitar and I couldn't help but smile when my skin came into contact with the smooth surface of the instrument.

"Ya know Bella," Quil smiled as he took a seat behind his drum set, "if I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together."

"Shut up Quil," I laughed. He winked at me in response and I shook my head at him.

Renesmee smiled wickedly at me as she strummed a few notes on her bass guitar.

"What?" I demanded a bit harsher than necessary.

"Oh nothing," she laughed. I raised an eye brow at her and she smirked in response. "Embry do you want to tell her or should I?"

"You can do the honors Ness," Embry turned and winked at me.

"So," Rensemee began, "I hope you haven't forgotten about the date you agreed to."

"Like I could forget," I muttered under my breath.

"Well," she smiled, "I would like to inform you that we have found an acceptable candidate to fuck Jasper out of your system."

I blushed lightly and glared at them. "Who is it?"

"Not tellin' ya," Embry smiled smugly.

"That's the point of a blind date," Resemee said, "you're not supposed to know who it's with."

"At least give me something to work with!" I almost whined.

"He's hot, and Emmett's cousin" Renesmee informed me and I groaned. _Great._

**oooOooo**

Finally the performance reared it's ugly head, much to my displeasure. I fumbled with my clothes as I got ready. I pulled on a pair of dark washed tight-fitting skinny jeans, with a brown belt and a dark grey long-sleeved shirt.

I picked up the straightener and quickly straightened my hair layer by layer, making sure every strand hung string straight. I applied a few swipes of black mascara and a swipe of light pink lip gloss before slipping on a pair of fuchsia crocheted Toms.

I sprinted down the stairs and rushed into the kitchen. I grabbed a Red Bull from the fridge and turned to leave. From the corner of my eye I noticed a bottle of Jack Daniel's on the counter, and I smiled to myself. _One shot couldn't hurt_.

I opened the cabinet above the sink and pulled out a small shot glass and snatched up the bottle. I poured myself a shot and threw it back. A warm smiled formed on my face as the brown liquid traveled down my throat, burning my insides and easing my nerves.

I grabbed the keys from the hook and hastily made my way over to the truck. After I peeled out of the drive way, I lit myself a cigarette, willing the gentle smoke to calm my nerves.

I parked my truck next to Renesmee's car and entered the shop. I noticed Quil, Embry and Renesmee talking with Emmett and Jacob on the far side of the room but I avoided them. Esme smiled warmly at me as I approached the bar. I took a seat on one of the bar stools and asked Esme if she could whip up my usual.

I sipped on the caramel macchiato with a nervous frown.

"Are you alright?" Esme asked.

I nodded in response "yeah, I'm fine." She raised an eye brow at me and I sighed in defeat. "I don't want to do this," I mumbled and took another sip of my drink.

"You'll do great sweetie," Esme cooed and took my hand in hers. I shook my head and stared down at the ground. "Everyone loves it when you perform," she said reassuringly.

"You're so talented," she gave my hand a gentle squeeze. I looked up at her and smiled nervously. "You really think so?"

"Of course I do Bella," she smiled. "You have a real gift, and you love what you do. We all see that, you need to be more confident in your abilities. You really have no idea how amazing you truly are."

I blushed lightly at Esme's words and stared down at the ground. "Thanks Esme," I whispered. I looked up at her and she smiled widely at me. I suddenly wished that my caramel macchiato was spiked with alcohol.

From the corner of my eye I noticed Alice and Jasper sitting at their usual table. I sighed deeply as I watched Jasper lean over and place a soft kiss on Alice's forehead. He loved her, it was obvious. I felt a sharp pang in my chest as I watched them.

I briefly considered walking out, going home and drinking myself to sleep. Before I had the chance to make a break for it, Esme called Embry, Quil, Rensemee and I to the stage, signalling that it was time for us to perform.

Slowly, I dragged myself to the stage. The atmosphere was buzzing with energy and I felt the urge to throw up. I could feel Alice and Jasper's eyes on me as I made my way to center stage and picked up the all black electric guitar.

Despite my best efforts not to, I glanced up at them, making eye contact with them. After a few moments, I closed my eyes and broke the contact.

"Bella and I wrote this song together," Embry spoke into the microphone, I could hear the smile in his voice. "It's called Caraphernelia."

I opened my eyes and glanced at Embry from the corner of my eye. He smiled reassuringly at me and gave me a thumbs up. I turned to my right and glanced up at Renesemee, she smiled cheerily at me and mouthed 'you got this'.

I took a deep breath and strummed the opening notes of the song before I lost my nerve.

* * *

**Author's Note: **Hello! I apologize for taking so long to update. I had some writer's block while writing this. I hope it turned out alright. Expect another update from me around Wednesday, Thursday or Friday. Thank you so much for reading my story, following, favoring, and reviewing. I love all of you! So many people are following this story, it's crazy. I would just love it if you guys could give me the pleasure of reviewing. I love hearing from you guys, I deeply encourage each and every one of you to leave a review.

xoxoxoxoxo  
raybabiieex3


	16. Chapter 16

**Author's note: **Hey guys! Since Bella and Embry are both singing in this chapter I decided to _**bold **_Embry's parts of the song and _un-bold _Bella's parts of the song, it'll make the performance easier to write and hopefully easier to read.

Alrighty, see ya at the bottom!

* * *

**Disclaimer: **SM owns Twilight

**Chapter sixteen**

I strummed the opening chords of the song, and tried to tune out the noise of the crowd. I could feel Alice and Jasper staring at me as I played, I had to force myself to not look in their direction.

As the song built momentum my anxiety gradually dissipated. I nodded my head to the steady sounds of the drums and bass, allowing the notes to calm my senses. I glanced over at Embry one last time before opening my mouth to sing, he smiled widely and winked at me.

Taking a deep breath, I opened my mouth to sing the first few lines of the song.

_"Sunshine, there ain't a thing that you can do that's gonna ruin my night.  
__**But there's just something about...**__  
This dizzy dreamer and her bleeding little blue boy.  
Licking your fingers like you're done, and you decided there is so much more than me.  
And baby, honestly it's harder breathing next to you, I shake.  
I brought a gun in as the preacher tried to stop me.  
Hold my heart, it's beating for you anyway._

I cocked my head to the left, smirking in Embry's direction as he prepared to scream the chorus of the song.

_**"What if I can't forget you? I'll burn your name into my throat. I'll be the fire that'll catch you.  
**__What's so good about picking up the pieces? None of the colors ever light up anymore in this hole.  
Whoooaaaa."_

I leaned farther into the microphone, getting slightly animated as I sang.

_"Nobody prays for the heartless.  
__**No!**__  
Nobody gives another penny for the selfish.  
__**You're learning how to taste what you kill now.**__"_

I looked up and purposefully made eye contact with Jasper as I sang, unable to hide the small smirk of satisfaction that formed itself on my face.

_"Don't mind me, I'm just reaching for your necklace.  
Talkin' to my daddy 'bout this little boy from Texas." _

_**"What if I can't forget you? I'll burn your name into my throat. I'll be the fire that'll catch you.  
**__What's so good about picking up the pieces? None of the colors ever light up anymore in this hole. Just give him back to me, you know I can't afford the medicine that feeds what I need._

_So, baby, what if I can't forget you?  
__**What if I can't forget you?**__  
Collide invisible lips like a shadow on the wall, and just throooow.  
Oh nooooo.  
__**You can't just throw me awaaaaaaaay!" **_

I couldn't stop myself from grinning as I sang, my fingers vigorously strummed the strings of the guitar. The more I got into the music, the more I forgot about the people watching me.

_"So what if I can't forget you? I'll burn your name into my throat, I'll be the fire that'll catch you. What's so good about picking up the pieces? What if I don't even want to?  
Oh, ohh, oh. Oh, oh, ohh, oh."  
__**  
"What if I can't forget you? I'll burn your name into my throat, I'll be the fire that'll catch you.  
**__What's so good about picking up the pieces? None of the colors ever light up anymore in this hole.  
Just give him back to me, you know I can't afford the medicine that feeds what I need._

_So, baby what if I can't forget you?  
__**What if I can't forget you?  
**__I'd better learn to live alone."_

_"What's so good about picking up the pieces?_  
_What's so good about? What's so good about?_  
_What's so good about picking up the pieces?_  
_Oooooooo."_

I smiled triumphantly into the microphone, "thank you" I breathed. I blushed a deep crimson as the room erupted into applause. I let go of the guitar, letting the instrument hang from the strap around my neck and looked up at Jasper. He had his arms crossed over his chest, staring at me with an unreadable expression.

Alice was staring at me as well, practically burning a hole through my forehead. Her eyes were burning with an intensity that shocked me, she almost looked pissed off.

_Good, I hope she is. It serves her right. _

I removed the guitar from around my neck, and lightly placed it back on the stand before following Embry off of the stage. Unable to help myself, I raised an eyebrow at Alice and smirked at her as I walked off stage.

As I approached the bar, a pair of strong arms wrapped themselves around my waist and lifted me into the air.

"Damn Bellsy," Emmett exclaimed. "That was some good stuff!"

I blushed lightly, and giggled "thanks Em". He sat me down on my feet and I turned around to face him. He smiled widely at me and ruffled the hair on top of my head with his hand.

I returned to my seat at the bar and took a large sip of my coffee. Esme smiled at me from behind the counter, "I knew you'd be great sweetie."

"Thanks Esme," I smiled sheepishly back at her, taking another sip of my drink.

I jumped when I felt someone tap me on the shoulder from behind. I turned around and frowned.

"What do you want Alice?"

"Seriously Bella?" she almost yelled, her eyes burning with fury. I bit back a chuckle and raised my eyebrow at her.

"What?" I demanded in a harsh tone.

"You know what!" she snapped back.

"I really don't though..." I trailed off and took a large gulp of the coffee.

"When are you going to stop this ridiculous shit and just get _over _it already?" she hissed.

I clenched my fist and glared at her, "excuse me?"

"I understand being upset but _come on_," she groaned. "Are you just going to write little songs about Jasper and I for the rest of your life and wallow in self-pity?"

I roughly pushed myself off of the bar stool and leaned in close to her face. "I don't know where you get off talking to me like that," I growled. "I have every right to be pissed, I have every right to hate your fucking guts."

"I've apologized a million times!" she shouted. "Jasper has too, what more do you want from us? I just want my best friend back. _I'm sorry!"_

"You should've thought fucking twice before opening those slutty little legs of yours then," I hissed, and pushed her backwards into the wall. Her eyes widened at my actions, I clenched my fist tightly and closed my eyes.

Before I could swing at her I quickly turned on my heel and hastily left the shop. I swung the door open with more force than necessary and stomped over to my truck. I ripped open the door, and fished around for my cigarettes.

Once I found the box, I roughly pulled one out and shoved the filter between my lips before bringing the lighter up to my face. I lit the cigarette and took an angry first drag, willing the smoke to calm me down.

I slammed the door of my truck shut and took another angry hit from the cigarette. I wanted nothing more than to barge back into the shop and rip Alice's hair from her scalp.

"Dammit!" I growled and roughly kicked the tire of my truck. I brought the cigarette to my lips and sucked in a deep long drag, and sighed. "Dammit," I muttered under my breath. I crossed my arms over my chest and leaned back up against the side of the truck.

My head snapped up when I heard the shop door swing open. I watched wide-eyed as a familiar head of disheveled bronze sex hair came into view. Slowly, he made his way over to me and stopped when he was standing a few feet in front of me.

He brought his gorgeous green orbs up to meet mine and my breath caught in my throat. _He's so beautiful. _I thought to myself as I examined his features. Even in the dark, I could still make out his perfect bone structure.

We didn't say anything, we just stood there, silently watching each other. My heart was pounding so loudly in my chest, I wouldn't be surprised if he heard it. I flicked a few ashes from the cigarette, allowing them to fall to the ground. Without breaking eye contact with Edward I brought the cigarette to my lips and sucked in a long drag of the smoke.

I exhaled the smoke from my nose, and Edward's eyes darkened. He stepped forward, his chest lightly brushed against mine, as he gently pushed me against the door my truck. He took the half smoked cigarette from my hand, and brought the filter to his lips. I couldn't stop myself from licking my lips as I watched him suck in a deep drag of the smoke.

_So fucking sexy._

He exhaled the smoke through his lips, blowing it directly in my face causing me to shiver. He leaned in close to my face, his eyes on my lips. I nibbled on my bottom lip with my teeth, and looked up at him through my eyelashes. He met my gaze for a few moments and I was almost sure that he was going to kiss me. Suddenly he stepped away from me, breaking whatever connection we had just made and handed my cigarette back to me. I bit my lip at the small electric current that shot up my arm when our fingers touched as I took the cigarette from him.

I brought the filter to my lips and took a short puff before flicking more ashes on the ground.

"I didn't know you could sing," he said finally.

"You were watching me?" I breathed, raising an eyebrow at him.

"Everyone was watching you," he replied. I bit my lip at the sound of his voice, the smooth masculinity of it caused an intense wave of arousal to lap over me.

I shrugged my shoulders at him and took another hit from the cigarette. "You're pretty good," he complimented me with a sheepish smile.

I blushed deeply at his words, sheepishly looking down at my feet. "Thanks," I said, pulling at the back of my monroe piercing with the tip of my tongue.

"Bella, I...uh..." he stumbled on his words. I glanced up, and raised an eyebrow questionably at him. I took one last hit from the cigarette before throwing the butt somewhere across the lot.

"I'm sorry for being a dick the last time we saw each other," he breathed, his eyes boring into mine.

I gulped audibly, and nibbled on my bottom lip with my teeth. "S'okay," I responded and the corners of his mouth tipped up into a small smile. He reached out, gently tucking a piece of stray hair behind my ear.

"Bye Bella," he whispered and backed away from me. I watched as he turned around, and slowly made his way over to his Harley. He swung his leg over the seat and sat down. He winked at me before pulling his helmet over his head. He revved the engine before releasing the clutch and speeding out of the coffee shop's parking lot.

_Wow. _

* * *

**Author's note: **Hey everyone, sorry about the length of this chapter. I know it isn't very long. I promise to update soon. Thank you to all of my lovely readers! I love all of you. Please, please, please, please leave some reviews. There're so many of you guys reading this, I would love to hear from you. Pretty, pretty, pretty please? I would love you forever, seriously.

The song in this chapter is called Caraphernelia by Pierce The Veil, featuring Jeremy McKinnon.

xoxoxoxo  
raybabiieex3


	17. Chapter 17

**Disclaimer: **SM owns Twilight

**Chapter Seveteen **

_Did that really just happen? _

I leaned back against the door of my truck in a daze. My head was spinning, and my body was still buzzing because of Edward. I let out a deep, shaky, breath that I didn't realize I was holding. I felt as if I were caught in the middle of one of my Edward filled dreams, it didn't feel real.

_He just apologized for being a dick,_ I thought to myself. _Maybe he's not that much of an ass after all. _

My heart was still pounding loudly in my ears, and I was having trouble breathing. I should've been alarmed at the effect he had on me, but I wasn't. In that moment all I could think about was Edward. I wanted to talk with Edward, I wanted to be around Edward, I wanted _Edward. _

I let out a deep, exasperated sigh and ran a trembling hand through my hair, I couldn't help the small smile that formed itself on my face. _Wow, just wow. What just happened, oh my God. _

"Bella!" I jumped as Renesmee's voice brought me out of my thoughts. Still slightly dazed, I glanced up at her. She was wearing a big shit eating grin on her face as she moved to stand in front of me.

"Dude!" she exclaimed, throwing her arms up in the air. "That was fucking awesome!"

"Huh?" I replied lamely.

"That was such a rush! Oh my God so awesome, you sounded fucking great. Oh my gosh, Embry was so good. Oh my God, what the fuck holy shit. So awesome," she gushed.

I was still in an Edward filled daze, and I was finding it extremely difficult to concentrate on Renesmee's words. I stared blankly at her, a smile on my face. I couldn't keep my mind away from Edward.

"Bella!" she shouted, snapping her fingers in front of my face. "Hello! Earth to Bella!"

I snapped out of the daze I was in and brought my eyes up to meet hers. "Are you down?" she asked.

I raised an eyebrow at her, "down for what?"

"Quil, Embry and I are going back to La Push to celebrate, you coming or what?"

I heard the door of the shop swing open, I glanced up as Quil and Embry entered the parking lot.

"Come on Bella! Let's do shots!" Embry exclaimed and I grinned. _Shots? I can do some shots. _

"Yeah man!" I laughed, "let's go!" I opened the door to my truck and quickly hopped into the cab. On the way back to La Push, Embry stopped at the liquor store and picked up a few bottles of Vodka, and Jack Daniel's along with a twenty-four pack of Bud Light.

The four of us headed back to Embry's place for a small get together. I pulled the truck into his driveway next to Renesmee's car, making sure to grab my cigarettes and a lighter as I stepped out.

I practically skipped up Embry's front porch steps and pushed open the door. I noticed Embry, Quil, and Rensmee all sitting in a circle on the living room floor around the coffee table. I couldn't help but grin as I sat down next to Renesmee, and crossed my legs.

Embry reached behind him and placed four shot glasses on the table before reaching into a brown paper bag and pulling out a fifth of Cotton Candy flavored Pinnacle Vodka. He filled each glass with the clear liquid and sat the bottle down on the floor next to him.

"Alright, let's do this" he grinned, picking up one of the glasses. He motioned with his hand for us to pick up a glass. We each picked a glass from the table, I brought the shot glass to my face and took a whiff of the alcohol.

"That was a fuck-awesome performance!" Quil exclaimed as he raised his glass. Embry, Renesmee and I raised our glasses and clinked them together. "Hell yeah it was!" Embry added. We all smiled at each other before we threw our shots back and downed the liquid.

I winced as the Vodka ran down my throat, and coughed at the sweet-ish, alcohol twinged flavor. "Why the fuck did you get cotton candy flavored?" I groaned as I sat the shot glass back on the table.

Embry laughed and pointed a finger at Quil, "he likes the fruity shit."

Renesmee and I giggled as Quil blushed lightly and slammed his glass back down on the table.

"Judge me if you want," he said, reaching for the bottle and pouring the group another round of shots. "Again?" he questioned.

"Again!" Embry, Renesmee and I exclaimed in unison.

~ooOoo~

As the night progressed more people showed up to Embry's. What started out as a small friendly get together, managed to turn into a huge house party. People from the reservation showed up, and with them they brought more alcohol. Some people from Forks even turned up, who also brought more alcohol.

The atmosphere was buzzing with energy as music blared loudly from a pair of speakers, and people stumbled drunkenly around Embry's house, I loved how light and happy the party atmosphere felt.

I wasn't sure if I should've been embarrassed about how fucking drunk I actually was, but in that particular moment I didn't really care.

I was sitting on Embry's living room couch with a fresh bottle of Jack Daniel's in my hand, next to Renesmee, who was currently doing body shots off of Jacob. I stared openly at them, watching as she greedily licked a line of salt from Jacob's collar-bone. I wondered what it would be like to lick a line of salt from Edward's collar-bone. I wondered what it would be like to lick anything from any part of Edward's body.

His skin would feel like pure satin beneath my tongue, I was sure of it. I decided then, that I wanted to lick Edward. Actually, I wanted to do a lot more than lick him. I wanted to lick, bite, and nibble every part of him as he ravished my girly bits with his cock.

I leaned back into the couch, suddenly wishing that Edward was here with me so that I could straddle him and do wicked things to his body. In my drunken haze, I allowed myself to imagine how it would feel to have him push me roughly against a wall, greedily running his gorgeous hands over my curves.

I shifted uncomfortably in my seat as waves of arousal lapped over me. _God, I'm so fucking horny. _

From across the room Embry laughed loudly at me and winked. _Did I say that out loud? _I giggled softly to myself, taking a long gulp from the bottle of Jack. I barely noticed the burn of the liquid, all thanks to my drunken state.

_It all starts to taste like water after a certain point_, I thought to myself and giggled again.

"Damn," I slurred "I have to fuckin' piss". I slowly pushed myself off the couch, somehow managing to make it up the stairs to the bathroom without falling over. As gingerly as I could, I placed the open bottle of whiskey on the edge of the sink, and pulled down my pants, plopping down on the toilet.

When I finished, I carefully stood and pulled my pants up. I grabbed the bottle from the sink, and stumbled backwards a bit. I fell backwards into the bathtub, and bumped my head against the tile.

"Owwies," I whined, taking another swig of Jack. I didn't bother making an attempt to get up, I was actually quite comfortable here in the bathtub, all alone in the dark with my lovely bottle of Jack Daniel's.

I placed the bottle tightly between my thighs, and reached into my pockets, searching for my cigarettes. After a few minutes of searching, I finally found the pack in my back pocket. I smiled triumphantly to myself as I pulled a slightly squished Newport 100 from the box. I placed the flattened filter between my lips and brought the lighter to my face. I took a lazy first hit, taking another drink of whiskey as I exhaled the smoke.

_I am living the life man. Whiskey and cigarettes are all I fucking need. _

It didn't matter that I was actually pretty lonely because in that moment I had Mr. Jack Daniel's keeping me company for the night. I took another hit from the cigarette, and allowed my thoughts to drift to wherever the fuck they wanted.

I wondered what Jasper and Alice were doing right now, where they together? Probably. Were they having hot sex? Probably. Were they thinking about how badly they betrayed me? Probably not. I brought the bottle to my lips, greedily downing more of the brown liquid.

_Fuckin' assholes,_ I thought angrily. _They're all pieces of shit. _

My thoughts drifted to Rosalie. I felt a sharp pang of hurt at the thought of my sister. _I could have lost her forever_. I loved my sister, she was everything to me. I wondered if she was happy here with me. I wondered if she missed her home in Phoenix - did she miss Renée? Did Renée miss her? I didn't even know if Rosalie kept in contact with our mother after she moved back to Forks.

I wondered what Renée was doing right now. I wondered if she thought of me at all, I wondered why she left in the first place. What drove her to leave, take my sister with her and never look back? Were Charlie and I not good enough for her?

I frowned at the thought of Charlie. _Damn I miss him. _I remember when I started playing the guitar. It was Charlie who taught me. He had an old crappy acoustic stuffed away in the basement, I found it and instantly knew that I wanted to learn. I remembered how I brought the worn down instrument up to my dad, begging him to teach me. He quickly agreed, he was more than happy to.

He sat me down on the couch with him, taught me how to play my first chord and I was hooked ever since. I was nine. I wrote my first song when I was eleven. Charlie had always been supportive of my love of music. He never talked down to me, he always encouraged me to do what I loved.

He was a great father. I hoped that from where ever he was, he was looking down on me and smiling. I wanted nothing more than to make him proud.

I puffed the cigarette again and sighed. _Damn, I'm depressed and fuckin' drunk. _I downed more of the alcohol, wondering how the hell my life had come to this; laying in a drunken heap, with a bottle of Jack in Embry's bathtub. I could've laughed.

I heard the bathroom door swing open, bringing me out of my thoughts. Quil stumbled into the room, wearing a huge drunken grin on his face. "Bella is that you?" he slurred, making his way over to me.

I smiled warmly at him, "hi Quil."

"Why are you in the bathtub?" he questioned.

"S'comfy," I slurred in response. He raised an eyebrow at me, "oh yeah?" he chuckled. "Is there room for me?"

I nodded vigorously and scooted over to the far end of the tub. "Of course," I smiled, and patted the space next to me. I giggled as he crawled up into the tub and plopped down next to me, resting his head on my shoulder.

I sighed deeply, relaxing further into the tub. I took another hit from the cigarette that was still burning in my hand, and took another drink from my bottle.

"You seem down in the dumps," Quil commented, making himself comfortable.

I shrugged my shoulders and rested my head on top of his. "You could say that".

"Tell me everything," he said, snuggling into my side.

I sighed deeply, taking a final hit from the cigarette before putting it out on the edge of the tub and throwing the butt somewhere in the bathroom. I ran my hand through my hair, and took another swig of whiskey.

I was too drunk to filter my words so I did what he asked and told him _everything. _I told him about Renée, the way she left and never looked back. I told him about Charlie's death and the way it still effects me. I told him about Jasper and Alice, and the way he looks at her. I expressed my concerns about Rosalie, I even told him about Edward.

By the time I finished telling him my entire life story I was crying. "My life's so fucked up," I croaked and took another large swig of Jack. Quil grabbed my hand, and rubbed soothing circles on my palms with his fingers.

"I don't even know why I care anymore," I confessed, my speach slurring.

"My parents left too," he commented quietly. I turned to face him, "damn, I'm sorry."

"S'okay, I have my grandparents" he said, a small smile formed itself on his face. "They're pretty great."

"What happened to your parents?" I questioned, and snuggled into his side.

"My mom's an alcoholic and my dad has a gambling problem, they dumped me with my grandparents when I was twelve," he explained and my heart broke for him.

"That's terrible," I whispered, taking another drink from my dwindling bottle of whiskey.

I felt him shrug his shoulders and sigh, "yeah but shit happens dude".

I nodded my head and offered my bottle to him. He took the bottle from me and brought it to his lips. He took a large gulp and I giggled as he coughed.

"Everyone leaves eventually," I slurred, taking the bottle back from him. "So fuck it," I said and downed more of the liquid.

He ran his fingers through my hair, and smiled sadly. "Not everyone leaves Bella, and the ones that do, fuck 'em because in the end the ones that matter are always there."

~ooOoo~

I groaned loudly when I woke up the next morning. _What the fuck happened last night? _I sat up and looked around, _how did I get in the bathtub? _I noticed Quil curled up in a ball, sleeping soundly at the foot of the tub. I vaguely remembered our conversation last night, we had a drunken heart to heart in Embry's bathtub. How classy of us.

I managed to crawl out of the tub, and whined as the room spun violently around me. _God, I feel like shit. _I made my way over to the mirror and frowned at my reflection. My hair was a mess, it was full of knots and strands were sticking out haphazardly in all directions, it looked like a haystack on top of my head and my eyes were swollen and blood-shot.

I didn't look any better than I felt.

Slowly, I made my way downstairs. The house was completely trashed. I noticed Renesmee curled up on Jacob's lap, a monsterous pile of empty beer cans surrounding them. I couldn't help but smile at how cute they looked. When I entered the kitchen, I noticed Embry sitting at the kitchen table with a cup of coffee in his hands.

He motioned for me to sit down in the seat next to him and handed me a fresh cup of coffee. "Dude..." I trailed off, taking a small sip of the java.

"Last night was insane," he finished for me. I nodded my head in agreement, and patted my pockets in search of my cigarettes. Embry smirked at me, and lifted an un-opened pack of Newport 100's, and a lighter in the air.

I grinned at him, greedily snatching the cigarettes and lighter from him. "I figured you might need some more cancer sticks," he chuckled.

"Aw, you're too kind" I cooed. I quickly opened the pack and popped a cigarette between my lips, and lit it. I took a long first drag and groaned as a sudden wave of nausea rolled through me. I stood up and hastily stumbled over to the trashcan. I barely made it to the trash before I started blowing chunks everywhere.

"Shit," I mumbled, wrinkling my nose at the putrid smell "that's disgusting".

"I'm almost thankful that you just puked everywhere," Embry commented from his spot at the table. "No one should be able consume alcohol the way you do and not throw up, you're a fucking machine."

I groaned in response and made my way over to the sink. I grabbed a glass from the cabinet, and filled it with tap water. I swished my mouth out with water, trying to dilute the throw up aftertaste. With the glass in hand I made way back to the table and returned to my seat.

Embry handed me a bottle of Aspirin and took a large gulp of his coffee. I smiled gratefully at him, and popped two of the pills. Wryly I took another hit from the cigarette, thankful that I wasn't hit with another wave of nausea.

"That wasn't supposed to turn into a party," Embry said and grinned. "But damn, it was fucking awesome."

I chuckled, "yeah, awesome indeed."

~ooOoo~

By the time Monday rolled around I was feeling much better. I was thankful that my hangover hadn't lasted for more than one day. I pulled my beat up Chevy into the Forks High School parking lot, leaving the radio on as I shut off the ignition. I nodded my head to the beat of the music, and took a long drag from my cigarette. I made no move to get out as my eyes darted around the lot, searching for a certain black Harley Davidson.

I couldn't help the wave of disappointment that washed through me when I realized Edward wasn't here today. Sighing, I shut of the radio and grabbed my bag before stepping out of the truck. I noticed Angela park her silver mini van a few spaces down from me and I smiled.

"Hey Ange!" I called as I walked towards her. She greeted me with a warm smile, and swung her backpack over her shoulder.

"Hi Bells," she said cheerily. I took another hit from the cigarette and ran my fingers through my hair.

"I didn't get a chance to tell you on Saturday," she grinned "but, you were pretty great up there."

"Thanks," I said sheepishly, and blushed a light pink.

"Always so humble," she chuckled. I rolled my eyes at her and took a final hit from the cigarette, throwing the filter across the lot. With both groaned when the bell rang, signaling that we were late for class. We rushed off to Mr. Varner's classroom, thanking God that he didn't notice us sneaking over to our seats.

The first half of the day passed by fairly quickly, for which I was thankful. I wanted to get to biology in hopes that Edward decided to attend class today. Instead of going to the cafeteria for lunch, I quietly snuck out of the building, making my way over to the courtyard for a smoke.

I pulled the cigarettes from my bag, and slid a Newport 100 from the box, carefully placing the filter between my lips. I brought the lighter to my face, and lit it. I sighed in contentment as I took a long first drag. I leaned back against the side of the building and closed my eyes, taking another hit from the cigarette.

I jumped when I felt someone crash into me, and push me up against the side of the building. My eyes snapped open, and I was met with a pair of sparkling emerald orbs staring back at me. Before I had the chance to say anything, he crushed his lips to mine and groaned. It took me a few moments to process what was happening before I dropped my cigarette and roughly ran my fingers through his disheveled copper locks.

I kissed him back, greedily molding his mouth with mine. I parted my lips and ran the tip of my tounge along the edge of his bottom lip. He let out a strangled moan in response, and pressed his body harder against mine. His tounge swept across my bottom lip, begging for entrance and I instantly agreed.

I moaned loudly when my tounge came into contact with the small metal bar bell in his tongue. Our tongues danced together gracefully in a battle for dominance, I quickly gave in and let him control the kiss. I felt his hands grab my ass and lift me up off the ground, I wrapped my legs securely around his waist and ground my core into his very obvious arousal.

Eventually we had to come up for air, and slowly pulled away from each other. "Fuck," I groaned softly. The sound of my voice seemed to snap him back to reality and he quickly sat me back down on my feet and stepped away from me.

I looked up at him through my lashes and the want in his eyes took my breath away, he stared at me with hooded eyes, a deep lustful expression on his face. He gulped and turned to walk away, hastily making his way out into the parking lot. I was frozen in place, too dazzled to move. I stared dumbly at his retreating form and frowned.

_What the fuck?_

* * *

**Author's note: **Hello my lovely readers! Sorry that it took so long to update, I've been busy. Real life is a bitch, I'll tell ya. I start school again on Monday, so my updates will slow down a bit, but not completely. I'll update once every week, on Sunday's more than likely. Senior year will be a busy year for me but I'm excited. I got a great response to last chapter which was awesome! Could you guys please leave some more reviews for me? They make me so happy, please? I truly love hearing from you all. You're a wonderful bunch. Thank you so much for reading my story, favoring, following, and of course reviewing.

Just to clarify some points; Bella is eighteen. She is drinking underage, yes. It's frowned upon and illegal but it happens. Renesmee is twenty-one, Embry and Quil are twenty-two.

Alrighty, review, review, review and I'll continue you love all of you unconditionally.

xoxoxoxoxoxo  
raybabiieex3


	18. Chapter 18

**Disclaimer: **SM owns Twilight

**Chapter Eighteen**

I stared at Edward's back as he walked away, dazed and confused. I didn't look away until long after he turned the corner and disappeared. I still felt as if I were frozen in place, I was trying to wrap my mind around the fact that Edward had just pushed me up against a wall and kissed me.

_Edward kissed me. _

I wasn't sure if it even really happened. Was I dreaming? If so, I never wanted to wake up. I brought my hand to my face, lightly pressing the tips of my fingers to my lips, that were still buzzing from Edward's touch. I took the time now, to revel in the way his mouth felt against mine. His lips were so soft and yet still firm, the taste of him lingered on my tongue. I closed my eyes and leaned my head against the brick wall of the building, I could still feel the warmth of Edward's body pressed against mine.

But what the _hell _was his _problem? _He just assaulted me with his mouth and fucking walked away. _Who does that? Edward fucking Masen, that's who. _

I jumped when the bell rang, signaling that I was late for biology. I pushed myself away from the wall and scurried off to class, still floating from Edward's kiss. I doubted that he would show up to class today, not after what happened. I headed straight for the class room, stopping mid-step as I crossed the threshold.

Edward was sitting at our lab table and he was looking straight at me. We made eye contact, his eyes boring into mine. The intensity of his gaze caused every hair on the back of my neck to stand up. I turned to walk out of the class room, but a hand on my shoulder stopped me from moving.

"I don't think so Ms. Swan," Mr. Banner's voice said. Slowly I turned to face him, he was glaring at me. "Get to your seat," he commanded in a clipped, annoyed tone.

I groaned softly and slowly made my way to the lab table, purposefully keeping my gaze from Edward. _Should I mention the kiss? Should I pretend like it never happened? Is that what he wanted? Maybe that's why he walked away. _

I felt Edward's eyes on me as I sat down, the feeling was unnerving. I prayed that he wouldn't say anything to me, I didn't know what to say to him.

As if he could read my mind, he cleared his throat and mumbled an awkward hello. I turned and nodded curtly at him. I tried with much effort to listen to Mr. Banner as he explained the instructions of the lab. My eyes widened when the word "partner" fell from his lips.

I groaned inwardly. _Great, now I have to talk to him. _

Without looking in Edward's direction, I quickly pulled my hair into a high pony tail and turned to face the microscope. Edward groaned softly from behind me, the low guttural sound caused a sudden wave of arousal to wash through me.

"You have a tattoo?" he squeaked.

"Yes," I replied sharply, keeping my back turned to him.

Edward and I worked in an awkward silence. I kept feeling like I should say something to him but I didn't know what the hell to say. I wondered if he felt the same way.

I was confused by his behaviour, and frankly I was angered by it. _Who the hell kisses someone and fucking walks away? _In that moment, it was the most annoying thing in the world.

When the bell rang I quickly pushed myself away from the desk and rushed from the room. Before I could make it out of the building Edward grabbed my wrist, stopping me in my tracks. My heart beat accelerated the moment his fingers grazed my skin. I turned to face him and glared.

"What?" I demanded icily.

He opened and closed his mouth a few times, seemingly at a loss for words. "Bella I...I..." he mumbled, not making eye contact. After a few moments he sighed deeply and dropped my wrist.

"Nothing," he whispered. Without looking at me he turned sharply and walked away.

_What the hell? _

I growled and roughly kicked a locker with my left foot. I stormed from the building and stomped over to my truck. I ripped open the door, and threw myself into the cab. I shoved the keys in the ignition with more force than necessary and quickly lit myself a cigarette. I roughly inhaled the smoke and turned the radio up as high as it would go.

I drove past Edward as he pulled on his helmet and straddled his bike. I frowned and gripped the steering wheel tighter with both hands.

_Screw you Edward Masen._

~ooOoo~

"I'm thoroughly disappointed that you didn't punch Alice," Rosalie commented as she flipped a page in her magazine. I rolled my eyes at her.

"She fucking deserves it," she added.

"Whatever Rose," I sighed, resting my head on her shoulder. Rosalie had been in the hospital for over a week now. She looked a lot better; the swelling on her eye had gone down almost completely and the bruises on her skin have gone from deep blackish-purple to a disgusting shade of greenish-yellow, meaning that she was healing.

I missed Rosalie at home. While I took solace in my alone time, I deeply missed my sister's presence in my life. It was achingly lonely without her around. It was depressing to think that she still had at least two more weeks left in the hospital, I hoped that the weeks would pass by quickly.

I jumped when I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket. I quickly pulled it out, and slid it open so I could access the full keyboard.

_One New Message: Nessie _

_Your date is tomorrow night. You're to go straight home after school, where I will be waiting for you.  
xoxoxoxo  
Ness_

I groaned loudly and massaged my face with the palms of my hands.

"What was that about?" Rosalie questioned.

I shook my head, "nothing."

She raised her eyebrow at me and I frowned. "Nessie and Embry set me up on a blind date," I mumbled. "Apparently I need to get laid."

Rosalie smiled wickedly, "I think that's a great idea. You need to move on, and frankly sex on a regular basis is quite healthy."

I rolled my eyes and sent a quick response to Renesmee.

"I knew I always liked Nessie," Rose grinned.

"Shut up Rose," I laughed, lightly shoving her good leg.

"I expect a full report after the date is over," she said, I shook my head in response. _Why did I agree to this again?_

~ooOoo~

"It looks fine!" Renesmee shouted, smacking my hands away from my hair.

"I don't get why you can't just let me straighten it!" I whined.

"Because Bella, your natural curls look better" she smiled. I rolled my eyes, "yeah fucking right."

Renesmee had been poking and prodding at me for almost three hours and I was fed up. She did my make up, picked out my clothes and did my hair. I felt like a fucking Barbie Doll.

"I really don't want to do this," I groaned as I pulled the dress Renesmee was forcing me into over my head. The dress wasn't too bad, it wasn't ugly at all. It just wasn't really my style; it was a sleeveless vintage style dress, with a white lace top and a blue floral skirt.

Renesmee frowned at me as I pulled on a pair of grey crocheted Toms. "I thought I told you to wear those wedges?"

"I refuse to wear those death traps Ness," I responded.

"But Bella-" I cut her off mid-sentence. "If you're going to force me into this stupid dress, I get to choose my shoes." I said in a tone that ended the conversation.

Renesmee huffed and crossed her arms tightly over her chest but didn't argue. I brushed past her and entered the bathroom and quickly brushed my teeth. I made sure not to linger in front of the mirror, I knew that I would find something wrong with my appearance.

Renesmee smiled widely at me as I entered the room. "The date is at Bella Italia in Port Angels," she told me. "Look out for the guy holding a red rose."

"Why are you making me do this?" I whined as I slipped on my pea coat and grabbed my cigarettes.

"You could at least pretend to be happy about this," she frowned.

"I'm not happy about this!" I retorted as I headed for the front door. Renesmee followed closely behind me, and stopped once we reached the front door.

She grabbed my keys from the hook and handed them to me. "It's just one date Bella, try to enjoy yourself."

I took my keys from her and rolled my eyes. "Good-bye Renesmee," I said, knowing that she hated the use of her full name. She grimaced and shoved me out of the door.

"I'll be here waiting for you!" she called as I walked over to my truck. I waved my hand in response and swung open the door of the truck. I hopped into icy cab and shoved the keys into the ignition. I pulled out of the drive way and quickly lit myself a cigarette.

_What the hell I am getting myself into? _

I chain smoked an entire pack of cigarettes on the thirty minute drive to Port Angels and instantly regretted it when I pulled into the restaurant's parking lot because I found myself craving another cigarette.

I was too nervous to function. I was slightly worried that this guy was some creep, Renesmee wouldn't even tell me his name. I doubted that I would enjoy myself. I couldn't wait for the date to be over and it hadn't even started yet.

"It's now or never," I mumbled to myself as I opened the door and stepped out into the frigid September air. Before I lost my nerve, I entered the restaurant and frowned.

The hostess smiled warmly at me. "Table for one?"

I shook my head in response, "uh no... I'm supposed to be meeting a blind date here," I explained awkwardly.

She nodded her head, and smiled knowingly at me. She motioned with her hand for me to follow her. She led me to a table in the back and I stopped mid-step when I noticed a man with an all too familiar head of copper sex hair sitting at the table.

The hostess smiled at us, telling us that our server will be out momentarily. I smiled weakly at her, watching as she sauntered away.

Edward handed me a deep red rose and flashed that crooked grin of his. My jaw dropped as I stared at him.

"You're Emmett's cousin?"

* * *

**Author's note: **Hello everyone. I'm sorry that this chapter is so short, it's probably terrible. I had quite a bit of writer's block while writing this but I wanted to update one last time before school starts tomorrow. Like I said last chapter, with school starting my updates won't be as regular. I see myself updating every Sunday. Thank you for all of the reviews! I'm loving the response that I'm getting for this story. Thank you for the favorites and for following. I love you guys, you're too great.

Please, please, please leave me some wonderful reviews? I will continue to love each and every one of you unconditionally.

xoxoxoxo  
raybabiieex3


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